I'm fed up with reaching standstill after standstill after standstill. If I keep hearing nothing back from this program (which seems very likely at this point), I'm going to find an apartment I can afford on SSI and get registered for the local disability transportation service and have a go at it on my own, because that seems to be the only way I'll actually make any sort of progress, is to just dive into the deep end. I'm not going to move any farther from my parents than I have to (the apartments really close to us are really expensive, no way I'll be able to afford any of them unless I get a decent-paying job), so I'll still be able to use them as a crutch. I can cook for myself (just don't have the motivation to do much beyond the basics, but it'll get me by), I do my own laundry, I have basic cleaning skills, I'll probably be able to just call the landlord about any repairs beyond changing a lightbulb or maybe unclogging a toilet and can call my dad for assistance with anything else that I don't know how to do, I know how to budget (just need help with estimating the cost of things) and will stick to it to the penny... I think if I can get a good daily routine set and stick to it, I might be able to do it. Then when I've had a chance to settle in and when I feel like I might be ready for it, I can also see about getting a job coach so I can actually have a job I can support myself on. My mom is having significant surgery in early December and we're going to Chicago (where most of my relatives live) for New Year's, so I won't be looking at moving out until sometime next year, but I think after that I'm going to make this my primary focus. Here's hoping I won't have to come running back to my parents with my tail between my legs.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"
Last edited by dragonsanddemons on 23 Nov 2019, 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.