MidlifeAspie wrote:
So, what do you other guys do to feel manly? How do you handle your masculinity, etc? Let's get the conversation going.
I drive a Mustang (sometimes way too fast), crank up obnoxious rock music, wail on my electric guitar, play video games, and get involved in geeky stuff like D&D and Star Wars. Before the big pandemic I'd occasionally join my dad to watch sports on TV or at the stadium. Baseball in particular is fun to watch. I also like the way I look with a lot of facial hair. I go to the air show when it comes to town, watch all the jets flying around, check out the aircraft parked on the ramp, and pose with the weapons on display. Last year I got a picture with one of the last remaining airworthy B-29s, which was awesome.
But I don't do these things to feel manly, I do them because
I like them. This is far more important to me than whether or not it's a manly thing to do.
I'm not uncomfortable with things traditionally considered feminine. My mom has horses (both mares) at a boarding ranch at my area so I sometimes go with her to help take care of them. I'm a sucker for cute animals. I have a soft spot for classic Disney cartoons. Yes, even the princess ones. I have 8 little cousins, two of whom are little girls, so when they come over to my parent's place I sometimes join them for coloring. Even in the context of my traditionally masculine interests, I sometimes find myself drawn to the aspects sometimes shunned by other guys. Rey is my favorite character in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, for example, and I really do admire a woman who can shred or scream alongside the dudes who dominate the rock scene. I've got songs by Evanescence, Hole, Lita Ford, Skillet, Bones UK, and The White Stripes on my personal playlist.
I'm also not afraid to call out other men for being sexist pigs if I see such bad behavior.
Do these things make me feel less "manly"? Not really. If anything, I feel like this valuing of traditionally feminine things actually makes me more secure in my masculinity. Like, more interesting in my personality, more versatile in my interests, and unafraid to try new things.
I also understand that some women find this kind of line blurring attractive as well, so if true, that's a bonus.
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My epitaph will read, "Dammit, I died! I want a do-over!"