What's on your mind right now?

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My devastating past.

loosing the war after fighting so many battles.

".. You may feel alive, but you are dead."

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How come when I tell an edgy joke it's bad but when other people do it's funny? Like, the edginess and humour is there at the same time both times but I get in trouble if I dare to try it.

I don't expect people who relies too much on semantics to understand.

But then again, I always have the frustrations of not able to say things in words.

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I was walking down the street, concentrating on feeling right, with the sun shining down on me, I put my hands up into the light.

I’m not exactly sure why people think the year changing will affect anything, it’s just one day passing into another just like any other day. Not trying to be unpleasant about it or anything, it really does baffle me.

People thinking a new day will matter makes some sense to me since that probably means they have had a nice long rest or are in a bad mood because they didn’t sleep well or whatever, sleeping (or trying to sleep) can at least affect a person’s mood and physical/mental condition, which will affect their day in some way.

Lunch.

I've noticed that people who hate labels are either in the majority or power majority most of the time or they hate themselves for not being. Like dad's been in a mental hospital a few times before but he hates saying he has a mental illness even though he does. And he talks about 'n*tters' all the time.

I wonder if this is true:
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/07/18/worl ... index.html
Is this true??


I've heard raining fishes. Raining birds. Raining blood. Raining ice pebbles and rocks.

I've yet to know if raining ants are true.

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Why did i eat so much haribo just now when i know im supposed to be dieting

Wonder if the gym will have long queues when it repoens this week.

Local Facebook COVID relevant alerts.

In which patients are identified through patient numbers, residence, age, travel history -- relations, housemates and contacted persons.

For the past few days, the focus is close within my neighborhood.


Today, my mom is pissed enough to quit her job because of office politics getting in the way on her job.
And it's not merely office politics -- it's office politics within local politics.

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What to say to my boss because my boss wants to talk to me later today.

Food. I keep thinking of different things to make. Doughnuts made from biscuit dough and shaken in a bag with cinnamon sugar.

Law of Attraction.

So you wish to be some genius so you can stop hating yourself?
You expect to have some celestial genie come down, bop you on the head and instantly you're a genius? NO!

Instead, this genie would conspire over you. It'll tell you to call some teacher and enroll classes.
It'll tell you to solve puzzles that many will struggle.
It'll tell you to observe and find things that others don't.
It'll tell you to set up routines so you can prepare your mind and body.

And yet NO! You hate the change. You hate the difficulties. You hate the routines. You hate the classes. You hate asking others. You hate them all like an ungrateful brat.
You don't wanna be bothered so you start to ignore the genie. So in turn the genie just leaves.
Then eventually you hate yourself for not being a genius.

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That I don't do anything correctly and ASD manifests (but is also a blessing as one can withdraw to a consistent obsession and world they had prior to the covid19 situation and now unlike lots of NTs whose world was only external and determined by social factors)

Felt lonely. So much so that I felt a need to log in here to get some relief by writing it out and reading other people's experiences.
They made me go in and get my drivers license photo retaken today which was not nice because I was much better looking in the old photo than now. But an Indian lady butted in front of me claiming I did not come before her (I had) and that made me angry for a while because she lied and was at least 40 if not older. She also said it in a really aggressive weird way without any need to be.
So I said,
I wouldnèt mind except I hate liars.
to her.

I mentioned that she was Indian because Iève had mainly Indian and Sri Lankan people be mean to me within THIS city that I live in (am not including the other cities, as over there it can be anyone, there is no pattern).


Even my old lawyer was either Indian or Sri Lankan originally, so were all the randomly rude people I encountered over the years, even just a week ago, so its a pattern.

I was fuming for a while then it finally went away after I told my sonès nurse that I was occupied thinking about the one negative thing.

Told her that I always stay stuck on those instead of the good occurrences . She said she does the same, and everyone does that, and that totally MITIGATED my perseveration and anger at that lady.
My sons nurse is an exceptional lady. For example one day after work she came by with her husband to drop off Veggie Straws (we were out of them and my car was at repair shop).
She knew it was the only thing my son ate these days and she didnt want him to have to wait till my car was repaired, to get them.