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Matrix Glitch
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15 Sep 2022, 12:55 pm

Up for sale on Ebay.

If I go to London for the queen's funeral what should I wear?



Radish
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15 Sep 2022, 1:05 pm

Naked, like lady Godiva. It will be expected.

What tasty morsel should I treat myself to tomorrow while grocery shopping?


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magz
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15 Sep 2022, 1:29 pm

A beardling. Don't starve.

Why do my muscles ache?


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Radish
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15 Sep 2022, 1:41 pm

Because you've never used them before. (Quote from the Matrix).

Why do fish have fingers?


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babybird
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15 Sep 2022, 2:09 pm

So they can flip the bird

Why is a circle round


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Radish
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15 Sep 2022, 3:51 pm

Because it is very well educated and has 360 degrees.

Why do the French wear strings of onions around their necks?


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magz
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16 Sep 2022, 2:51 am

These are the prettiest flowers they could find for their lei.

Why can office chairs spin?


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CosmicFerrets
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16 Sep 2022, 4:06 am

Because they are autistic and no one ever stopped them from stimming :)

Why do cats have shiny eyes at night?



Radish
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16 Sep 2022, 5:47 am

So you know the direction to swerve your car. :twisted:

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To visit his flat mate.


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magz
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16 Sep 2022, 6:12 am

The hedgehog has not, I repeat, the hedgehog has not crossed the road!

Why is there an empty space between my desk's edge and my laptop?

True answer: for my cat.


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Doberdoofus
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16 Sep 2022, 7:22 am

You should employ the services of a lawyer to explain this, so they can charge you thousands only for them to explain what the definition of an empty space is.

Should I repay all the unjust things that happen to me with kind?


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Sep 2022, 8:22 am

Medieval weaponry should help.


What are some good songs for a long road trip?


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Radish
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16 Sep 2022, 8:44 am

Duct tape applied around the head and mouth is ideal for taking people on a long road trip.

How long is it safe to sit out in the sun fully naked?


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Edna3362
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16 Sep 2022, 10:01 am

5 minutes on 455°C, deep-fried, bleached and baked.


What medieval weaponry should everyone bring when offering peace?


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babybird
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16 Sep 2022, 10:03 am

A spud gun

How do you make a chocolate cake


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IsabellaLinton
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16 Sep 2022, 10:21 am

Make a vanilla cake batter, then bake it overnight in the smouldering ash of your neighbour’s incinerated corpse.

Why are my hips so sore?


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