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Double Retired
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18 May 2024, 1:01 pm

WARNING

Because I like WP I'm going to share this advance information to the ladies of WP. Beware the robot pedicure machines!

Guys, in case you don't know about robot pedicure machines, let me explain...

When the gals go to a nail salon for a manicure or a pedicure much of the work is now done by robots. They do not look like C3PO but rather they look like microwave ovens with the doors removed. To get their pedicures the gals stick their feet into the opening on the front of the robot and it trims the nails.


I hacked into the maintenance homepages for the pedicure robots and tampered with the software. If the machine starts making licking noises get your feet out quickly! That licking noise forewarns that instead of just trimming the nails the machine will trim the entire toe off of your foot!


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Double Retired
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22 May 2024, 10:46 pm

OK. I'm an Aspie. I don't like direct eye-to-eye contact. But I found a trick that helps!

I dyed my nose hair bright orange!

Now if I'm talking to someone I can safely look at their eyes. They're never looking at my eyes!


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angelsonthemoon
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22 May 2024, 11:06 pm

I hate water and never drink it.



utterly absurd
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23 May 2024, 5:44 pm

Aughtism is the belief that humanity reached its peak during the aughts (2000-2009).


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NewTime
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24 May 2024, 2:16 pm

Autism is discrimination based on what kind of car someone drives.



PhosphorusDecree
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25 May 2024, 9:44 pm

Disney are looking to hire actors who look like geometric shapes for a live action feature film of "Flatland".


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2763
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28 May 2024, 7:07 am

Space is a lovely place, where all planets are but five minutes apart and all aliens are highly civilized and developed and conventially attractive.


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PhosphorusDecree
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28 May 2024, 8:40 am

2763 wrote:
Space is a lovely place, where all planets are but five minutes apart and all aliens are highly civilized and developed and conventially attractive.


Also, every planet in the Universe consists of a corridor, a couple of large rooms and an abandoned quarry. Including Earth.


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lostonearth35
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29 May 2024, 3:56 pm

Skibidi Toilet is a brilliant piece of animation that improves the minds of any child who watches it, and the bootleg toys based on the web series on Amazon are absolutely adorable. :heart:



Double Retired
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01 Jun 2024, 12:08 pm

The squirrels in our area are trying to unionize.


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TT1660
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03 Jun 2024, 11:04 am

(3)354 bus did an 823 to Cleland. But when....?



Double Retired
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07 Jun 2024, 12:37 pm

Ut, oh.

She said she wished she had "wavy" hair.

I thought she said "gravy"!


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The Bride
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08 Jun 2024, 2:49 pm

Double Retired wrote:
The squirrels in our area are trying to unionize.


And you should see the picket lines that the bunnies are trying to cross...


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The Bride
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08 Jun 2024, 2:50 pm

Double Retired wrote:
Ut, oh.

She said she wished she had "wavy" hair.

I thought she said "gravy"!


Now I know why he bought me a new ladle instead of a new hairbrush!


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The Bride
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09 Jun 2024, 2:08 pm

I am a somber and serious person...


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ocean
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09 Jun 2024, 2:15 pm

im not going to bed now after being awake since 5


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