Why do NTs really hate people talking to themselves?

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Joe90
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12 May 2011, 8:30 am

I think the most easiest way to get people staring at you is to just talk to yourself. Just mutter one tiny word to yourself and you will get a whole room of people turn round and stare at you as though you've done something really awful.

When I was at work last week, I was alone in the back room, but I thought the manager was in the office. So I got up and walked over to the office, beginning to ask a question to her. When I realised she wasn't in there I turned around and walked out of the back room to go and find her. As I was coming out, a customer stared at me like I had 2 heads - probably because she heard me say a few words when nobody was in the back room (although it was a mistake).

But sometimes there come times where you've got to talk to yourself. Sometimes when you're working out something like a sum, and you might want to say the numbers out loud to be able to work out the answer faster or something. We can't all be completely mute when we're on our own. OK, you would look if you see someone having rigid conversations with thin air (like on the film ''Drop Dead Fred''), but I don't normally take much notice if someone mutters a bit to themselves. It's no big deal. Sometimes I would turn around and think, ''who's he/she talking to. Was he/she talking to me?'' but that's it. I wouldn't go think he/she is really weird or anything.

But NTs seem to think that the most horrifying thing in the world is to see someone talking to theirselves. Next time I feel like turning around to them and saying, ''I'm sure you've got bigger problems to worry about than hearing a person mutter a couple of words to herself. Grow up, mate!''


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12 May 2011, 12:03 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I think the most easiest way to get people staring at you is to just talk to yourself. Just mutter one tiny word to yourself and you will get a whole room of people turn round and stare at you as though you've done something really awful.

When I was at work last week, I was alone in the back room, but I thought the manager was in the office. So I got up and walked over to the office, beginning to ask a question to her. When I realised she wasn't in there I turned around and walked out of the back room to go and find her. As I was coming out, a customer stared at me like I had 2 heads - probably because she heard me say a few words when nobody was in the back room (although it was a mistake).

But sometimes there come times where you've got to talk to yourself. Sometimes when you're working out something like a sum, and you might want to say the numbers out loud to be able to work out the answer faster or something. We can't all be completely mute when we're on our own. OK, you would look if you see someone having rigid conversations with thin air (like on the film ''Drop Dead Fred''), but I don't normally take much notice if someone mutters a bit to themselves. It's no big deal. Sometimes I would turn around and think, ''who's he/she talking to. Was he/she talking to me?'' but that's it. I wouldn't go think he/she is really weird or anything.

But NTs seem to think that the most horrifying thing in the world is to see someone talking to theirselves. Next time I feel like turning around to them and saying, ''I'm sure you've got bigger problems to worry about than hearing a person mutter a couple of words to herself. Grow up, mate!''


^^ Yaye greetings Joe90,

I do certainly believe that many norms within human societies are not based on logic. ^^ However I believe that this shall not be the case that all neurotypical humans shall be frightened by other humans speaking alone, but I do agree that, within the cases I have seen, this indeed appears to be the case with many humans that they become frightened or disturbed. ^^ In addition I believe that this perhaps occurs with any matter that many humans consider to be unusual, for instance wearing certain clothings or speaking within a manner that may be considered unusual by the humans in question, or perhaps expressing unusual beliefs. I believe that perhaps many humans become very frightened by other humans acting in a manner that they are not accustomed to, even if this does not appear that any harm shall come from this act.

I am very sorry if this is horrible of me.


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12 May 2011, 1:42 pm

I have seen people talking to themselves and I do admit I do feel uncomfortable at times because I often wonder who are they talking too and think they must be crazy and I also think they better be on the phone. This is a irrational feeling I get because why must I be afraid? Do I think the person is going to beat me or something? I remember thinking at age six my mom must be crazy because she always talked to herself but I was never afraid of her because she was my mother. When my husband talks to himself I get annoyed because it confuses me because I always think he is talking to me but he always tells me he is thinking out loud. People can talk to themselves in their heads, not out loud. If they want to talk out loud, they can do it when they are alone and there are no people around.

Also they could be looking at you just to see who you are talking to. Strangers have said to me in the past "Oh not you" because I was looking at them when they said something. If any of them told me to "grow up," I would think they have problems and are rude people and think "is it my fault they decided to talk out loud?" because how was I supposed to know they weren't speaking to me? I would think they can't take responsibility for themselves so they must project it on others to make themselves feel good because of their error they made and didn't like my innocent mistake. What is wrong with looking at someone when you hear them speak? If they're not looking at you, assume they weren't speaking to you and move on. What's wrong with even asking "You talking to me?" I would just think it's their problem if they told me to grow up. Just like some people get pissed when they are talking on the phone and then get mad at you when you thought they were talking to you so they project it onto you by acting like you were in the wrong and you were rude just so they feel good and have you feel bad for your innocent mistake. I will never get that logic from people.



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12 May 2011, 1:56 pm

It makes people paranoid.



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12 May 2011, 2:23 pm

I talk ALOT to myself but people really don't notice in my class.
There it an NT girl in my class when she's doing math she sometimes mumble what she's calculating, in her head.
It has only happened one time she moaned the numbers out and then we pretty much laughed because it was so funny.
She even didn't notice she did it before we told her after she took her earphones out, which was a couple of seconds later.


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12 May 2011, 2:24 pm

I talk ALOT to myself but people really don't notice in my class.
There is an NT girl in my class when she's doing math she sometimes mumble what she's calculating, in her head.
It has only happened one time she moaned the numbers out and then we pretty much laughed because it was so funny.
She even didn't notice she did it before we told her after she took her earphones out, which was a couple of seconds later.


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Joe90
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12 May 2011, 2:51 pm

Quote:
Also they could be looking at you just to see who you are talking to. Strangers have said to me in the past "Oh not you" because I was looking at them when they said something. If any of them told me to "grow up," I would think they have problems and are rude people and think "is it my fault they decided to talk out loud?" because how was I supposed to know they weren't speaking to me? I would think they can't take responsibility for themselves so they must project it on others to make themselves feel good because of their error they made and didn't like my innocent mistake. What is wrong with looking at someone when you hear them speak? If they're not looking at you, assume they weren't speaking to you and move on. What's wrong with even asking "You talking to me?" I would just think it's their problem if they told me to grow up. Just like some people get pissed when they are talking on the phone and then get mad at you when you thought they were talking to you so they project it onto you by acting like you were in the wrong and you were rude just so they feel good and have you feel bad for your innocent mistake. I will never get that logic from people.


Well some people laugh at others who just mumble a little word to themselves, and I think there is no reason to laugh.


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12 May 2011, 11:46 pm

NTs may assume the person is schizophrenic & there's a lot of negative stereotypes about it Thanx to the media. My dad talks to himself a lot sometimes & I sometimes get upset because I'm not sure if he's talking to me or not. I used to talk to myself a lot when I was little but I kind of forced myself not to due to social problems, embarrassment & getting in lots of trouble at school for disrupting the class. I'm not sure if it's naturally because of my Apiness or because I picked it up from my dad doing it. I still talk to myself some but I mainly do it when I'm by myself


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13 May 2011, 12:52 am

I don't think I've ever come across a NT that had much negative to say about talking to oneself. In fact, many have told me "Talking to yourself is fine. It's when you start arguing with yourself that you've got a problem."

I'm a very quiet person, so talking to myself isn't something I do very often. Maybe that's why my experience has been different.


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13 May 2011, 3:08 am

I must live in a strange place. I talk to myself all the time and no one seems to notice. It's how I work through problems I'm trying to solve. At the worst of times someone might say, "One of those days, huh?" My reply: "Yep, same as every day." People get over it.

If someone really gives you a hard time about it you can always say, "That's just because I'm more interesting to talk to than you are." Chances are they won't get the humor, but they probably will leave you alone.

This is also a great way to work out dialogue when you're writing fiction. But when you start speaking to yourself in multiple voices when doing this people really will stare. I try to do this when I'm by myself. Besides, working out dialogue like this is like a pre first draft. First drafts are for the author's eyes (or ears!) alone.



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13 May 2011, 5:06 am

My 5yr old daughter just got into trouble at school for this as the teacher thought she was speaking to him. He'd said something like 'You should be finished that by now', not expecting a response. She said, 'I'm nearly finished' to herself and got a verbal warning for talking back. Maybe the tone she used sounded cheeky to him, but what she said wasn't bad at all. I feel really sad for her when things like that happen. She's been totally misunderstood and wasn't trying to be a smart arse.



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13 May 2011, 6:42 am

It's because most of them are nasty people who think that everybody should be exactly like them.


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13 May 2011, 7:53 am

It's really simple, the stereotype of people talking to themselves is that they are insane. The reality though, the only insane ones are the people who hold conversations with themselves.

Alot of people mutter to themselves, but heh, I wouldn't leave just NTs to this, I think it's odd myself.


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13 May 2011, 7:56 am

886 wrote:
It's really simple, the stereotype of people talking to themselves is that they are insane. The reality though, the only insane ones are the people who hold conversations with themselves.

Alot of people mutter to themselves, but heh, I wouldn't leave just NTs to this, I think it's odd myself.

Does it count as insanity if you only have conversations with yourself in your head (silently)? :lol:

I rarely think out loud or talk to myself out loud when other people are around, but I do non-stop when I'm alone. It makes it easier for me to process thoughts and whatever when I do, I think.



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13 May 2011, 9:53 am

There are a few comments on here that I find hard to understand. I'm not sure its helpful to lump all or most people who aren't on the autistic spectrum together, and call them 'nasty' or say they all have the same opinion. NT's are a very diverse group, most of them are just struggling to get through life the same as anyone else.



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13 May 2011, 11:01 pm

dunbots wrote:
886 wrote:
It's really simple, the stereotype of people talking to themselves is that they are insane. The reality though, the only insane ones are the people who hold conversations with themselves.

Alot of people mutter to themselves, but heh, I wouldn't leave just NTs to this, I think it's odd myself.

Does it count as insanity if you only have conversations with yourself in your head (silently)? :lol:

I rarely think out loud or talk to myself out loud when other people are around, but I do non-stop when I'm alone. It makes it easier for me to process thoughts and whatever when I do, I think.

What's the difference between talking to yourself & having a conversation with yourself :?:


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