Teenage girls and their rosy visions of family life...

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I don't mean to sound like I'm overgeneralizing, but within my circle of acquaintances, I've noticed a lot of young women in their upper teens and who are barely out of their teen years who seem to overemphasize marriage and starting families, even at a young age. I have a friend who's 19 years old and is already pregnant with her second child. Of course, my home state is high in teen pregnancy rates compared to other states, so it could be a local thing.

It disturbs me to see such a pervasive mentality. There's nothing wrong with marriage and starting families, but I do see something wrong with thinking that it's the most important thing in the world when you're just barely out of high school. When so many young women think this way, it makes me shake my head because of their being oblivious to how good they have things in this day and age. Fifty years ago, girls being fresh out of high school would immediately be expected to marry and have kids, and if they did pursue any post-secondary education, it would be expected to be within the fields of education or nursing. Shouldn't they prioritize getting an education and starting a career before starting a family? Especially considering the fact that our lifespan is almost 80 years. It's not like the days centuries ago when the lifespan was so short, and childbirth so potentially fatal, that women were expected to marry and have children as soon as they reached puberty.

Maybe I'm the one being idealistic, but being as cynical as I am, I can't help it...

I was never like that as a teenager. I didn't want a family and children. I wanted to live the life of a man, instead. Gender roles meant nothing to me.

Yes, it almost enrages me. It's such an old-fashioned mentality. But, it is their life, and their choice. I've no right to judge or interfere. I'm just happy I'm not like that.

That's amazing (in a not-good way). They have no idea how young they are.

Maybe it's the storybook idea (that's everywhere) that if you have a family, then you'll be happy and loved forever. If I'd been a lonely, unguided, depressed (and female) teen who didn't see much of a future for herself, I can kind of see falling for that.

Or, are these girls not depressed, lonely, unguided, unvalued by family, etc.?

Many say nothing is more important than family and relationships. While I agree that it is true, what could be worse than having a family, but not being able to support one with a career? That is an ultimate failure.

Here in Old Blighty getting pregnant is the way to get near the top of the social housing priority list.

Plus it gives young women who have very little by way of an identity a role, that of "mother".

Often with only the vaguest idea of what looking after a baby involves. I'm not saying teenage motherhood is always and in all cases a bad thing. It depends on the support network they have, and whether they are letting it derail any plans for education and a working life.

I have some very cynical opinions about this whole thing. One being how poorly some of these girls treat the men they use to aquire their goal.

I got pregnant at sixteen but the last thing on earth I would want to do Is get pregnant again all I want is to give my son the best life possible.

I was watching college football last night and they were talking about how one of the players and his girlfriend had just had their second kid. Like it was a good thing! I thought maybe I was the only old-fashioned fogey (I'm 37) who felt like this anymore. He's going to college and playing football. He's not working so how could he be supporting these kids? I don't know what the girlfriend does, if she works, but I suspect she probably gets welfare, otherwise why not get married if you are committed enough to each other to have two kids! Welfare is for when you are trying and something bad happens and you need help. It's not a built in pay-for-your-kids plan so you can start having them before you are ready! I never wanted children but I was raised that you get married, get to a place where you can provide for them, and THEN have them. It's better for the kids and the parents that way. I would imagine it's not enjoyable to have kids you love to whom you can't give what they need.

I hope I'm not like that...

I agree 100% with the opening post, and I'd really like some specific insight from NaomiDB; If you could go back to the reasons for your choices, would you have chosen pregnancy at that age? Did you take the risks seriously? (I work in a Hospital, and HATE to see all the teens in LDRP, with a girlfriend or mother by her side, not 'baby daddy', the 'relationship' didn't last), if you could talk to you at that age, what would you say? How much peer pressure is there to be sexually active? Many years ago, I watched a talk show, 5-6 teen-aged girls were on, the host asked if any of them had sex with someone she didn't want to; felt obligated, gave in to pressure from him, felt she was obligated to, didn;t know how to refuse, thought she was supposed to....they all said 'Yes; I was horrified! Sylkat

When I was 14 years old, my girlfriend of the same age was all on about how she wanted to get married and start a family with me after we'd been going out for a few months

Yeah it's friggin' crazy.

I never wanted to get married until I was proposed to. Even then, I had my reservations but rationalized it all saying the legal benefits would help a lot.