What the heck is Respite?

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I saw my parents browsing history on the family computer. They were looking up respite services for autistic adults. I do not know what that is. I think its a bad thing. Im scared to know what it is. I dont want any more extra services. I dont want to be spoiled. I wish they didnt look up that stuff.

My girlfrirnd's counselor used the word Respite before. It was a place she could go to get away from things & get a break from life for a while. Maybe your parents think your causing too much stress at home & want a break from you or they think you could use a break from being home cuz of issues there.

Respite services are for caregivers that have someone come in the home and be the caregiver for a few hours. Often paid for by public agencies that help elderly and/or people with disabilities and their families

Oh.well I dont really want that. I dont consider myself disabled

Have a conversation with them regarding this?
You don't appear to need someone with you at all times. Do you?

No. I dont need anyone with me. I just want to be treated normally.

What dows treated normally look like?

It means I want to be treated like my neurotypical siblings. Im treated like Im super fragile. Im not. Im 5'8. Im taller and bigger than my younger sister.But she has more freedom. I talk to my parents. They said they have good reasons.

Have you asked them what their reasons are?

Are you a potential danger to yourself or others? Even with simple things like forgetting to turn the stove off when you're cooking. etc.

A respite worker isn't necessarily a bad thing at all. If your parents are worrisome people who don't feel they can leave you alone at home in order to go out for a day/evening/weekend or whatever & they cannot rely on your siblings to make sure that you and your home are safe, they may be considering hiring a respite worker just for their own peace of mind.

Mmmmmmaybe you'd do absolutely fine on your own at home, and maybe you even KNOW you would, but if your parents are so concerned that something could go wrong while they're away from you then it might just be worth their money to pay some other adult to come over and make sure nothing goes wrong while they're out/away. It may be more for their own peace of mind than it is that it's necessary for you to have someone look after you. Some parents are just anxious like that and would rather spend a bit of $ so that they can go out and relax knowing that they have a responsible professional caregiver in their home to ensure that you don't get hurt or runaway or w/e, and that their home won't be damaged in any sort of accident. Some people just can't handle being out and away from their ASD kids because they worry too much, so, they'll pay for someone to come hangout at their home with their kids and alleviate those worries so they can actually relax and enjoy their time out vs. worry so much it ruins the whole point of getting out of the house w/o any of their kids.

I know this is hard to understand, but you are two different people with entirety different needs. Unfortunately they will not be treating you the same, but hopefully they treat you fairly. I am sure that your sister has a host of things they do for you that she does not get.
Also, they would have to qualify. Are you home alone? Have you ever been? How independent are you? If the answer is yes and very than resite care is not an option.

Im not allowed to be home alone. I can do my own laundry though and wash dishes. Im impulsive though. I cant be in the kitchen unsupervised. My sister can be home alone and she can be in the kitchen alone. Tbis is humiliating. I want freedom. I feel stupid.

It is what it is, my friend. There's no sense in getting upset about it. You acknowledge that you're impulsive (not your fault! it just is what it is.) and can't be left in the kitchen unsupervised. So, your parents are willing to pay a responsible adult to hang out in their home and make sure you don't get hurt & the house remains fine. That's all there is to it, really. Having that person there is not infringing upon your freedom whatsoever.. they're just another meat coated skeleton taking the place of your parents for a while. You'll still be free to do all the things you can do when your parents are home - no real change. They won't be there to keep you locked in a room or anything. They'll just be there to make sure you & your home are in good condition when your parents get back - that's it, that's all. And they might even turn out to be someone likeable that you get along with.

And you're certainly not stupid. You're definitely smart enough to realize & acknowledge that you are impulsive and cannot be left alone in the kitchen. Now all you have to do is just accept that this just is the way things are, and that the best possible course of action your parents can take to ensure your safety and that of your family home, is to make sure there's a responsible adult present when they're out.

I guess so. Im 18 though. I just feel too old.sorry. i have a low self esteem.

No one is too old for respite care who needs it. Respite workers are not childcare providers or babysitters. They're hired to keep an eye on adults & homes to make sure nothing bad happens. People 2-3x your age and above may still require respite care when their parents or primary care providers are out.

Different type of care, but another age example.. my grandmother spent her last couple years or so living in a long term care facility (old folks home) and was 96 years old when she passed away April 5th of this year. She wasn't able to feed, clothe, or bathe herself for much of the last year or so. People of all ages sometimes require other people to do things for them.

Ok. That makes me feel a bit better. I do have difficulties with "simple" things

Glad you're able to take this info in, process it, and feel better about it.