10 years ago, where did you think your life was going?

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Self-explanatory post.
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Kind of nowhere. I had nothing going for me then, except my love of anime. I was still rough around the edges, and would occasionally get into a few tiffs, but not anymore. I'm more stable now - and I am a better person for it.

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"A true, true friend helps a friend in need."

10 years feels more like 10 days to me. All I mostly remember about it was maybe my obsessions with Webkinz, Neopets and The Sims 2 and 3. I used to go out more often and try to be sociable and independent. Now everything in this hick town I live in is so boring and stagnating and depressing it's not worth going out most of the time. I lived in fear and anxiety of pandemics and war and what do you know? My fears have come true.

10 years ago.
That would be me at 16-17.

It's still the same for me.
No plans, going nowhere, uncertain.

Still not feeling like myself. I hate it.
Still trapped in an ill body without an explanation what it meant and what to do with it.

Still playing by weaknesses because damnit.
Still hating business. Still holding onto things too much.

Still on an edge of a burnout even if I hadn't done anything.
Because it's still about "autism" (when it's not) and not enough with anything else because it's just puberty.

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That's a good question.

I was mostly the same, albeit trapped in a figurative cell and in that hell, but no one would have really known that one because I couldn't show things. The external person, was different, more protective of the internal and guarding it as hard as he could, so not only hiding, but also self-sabotaging and pushing others away. I saw myself in the same place that I am now, well, some things are worse; I had wants, but Dill's wants are things he gives up for various reasons (I'll just say echoism and mental illness there). That's old Dill anyway.

Current Dill is that internal Dill, just knowing why he is how he is, so he's likely a better guy, even if still a broken guy. He's not protecting himself, because he doesn't need to (I guess I hit that point of pain where understanding is on the other side of it). I wear it all on my sleeve now.

10 years ago I was nearly 22, and was hugely obsessed with certain people, particularly one woman who I compared myself to and wanted to be like. I also was going through a stage of severe depression and kept having frequent outbursts. I also felt my life was going nowhere, because I was still unemployed and didn't have a boyfriend even though I really wanted one.

I never really thought much about how my life would be 10 years from them, as when you're young you just live in the moment. Ten years later my life is completely different; I live in a different town with my boyfriend, I have a different job that I like, I don't have obsessions any more, and I sadly don't have a mother any more.

10 years ago: dead end jobs, long relationship with an alcoholic with borderline traits. My life, tracing a toilet bowl. Better now, despite my current issues.

10 years ago - Happily married, one baby daughter, finishing MS.
Now - Still happily married, two school-age daughters, PhD still stuck.

In the meantime - gone mentally ill, recovered.

I thought I was going places, especially career-wise.

10 years later I've basically gone nowhere career-wise. I wouldn't have predicted that I'd lose all my interest in my profession as the years passed. But it's been almost 10 years since my ASD diagnosis too so what do I know about the future ...

The not-so-fun side effect of this going-in-circles is that all the people I knew have almost without exception become successful, some even famous. So I guess I have that going for me, for the next 10 years, that I will have known a lot of people who went places. Only that nobody cares about me now to call me a friend. Life's a bummer and then you die. NAS got that one right.

I was in a bad place ten years ago. I was doing a lot of trauma work and my life was a wreck. I was a wreck. Each day blurred one to the next and I didn't think any of that would ever stop or change. I thought my life was never going to be better, that I would never be better, that I was always going to live in some hazy state of horrible..that I should accept that as my fate to make each day suck a little less because hey, in resignation there is no hope and back then I thought hope was a nasty thing that made life worse when everything shattered again...if I didn't hope, I didn't meet with continual disappointment. I'd say I thought my life was going to hell, but honestly, I didn't think i was going there, I thought I was there.

Thankfully things aren't like that for me anymore.

Nowhere.

I was suicidal back then. I hated myself, thought i could never work even if i wanted to.
Now i can work and i am not suicidal, Just feel empty sometimes.

Had just started a new job and things were looking pretty good. Had no idea that eight years later, my mind and body would be left broken from it.
Had saved up quite a nice chunk of change, but it's all gone now.

As small as the music scene was, it was pretty tight-knit, and we always had a great time. We had no idea that some lawyer in a fancy suit would destroy it all.

You can't convince me that the Mayans weren't right.

Graduating University panicking I'd roll straight into unemployment.

I did.

In a better place than I was though, but still have my off days.

A lot has happened in that time, so my depressive episodes and anxiety attacks seem a lot more severe now than before.

I'm hopefully striving to get all of this under control.

10 years ago I had just entered my current relationship shortly after my 2nd girlfriend broke up with me. Both relationships were long distance & I felt trapped living with my parents & hated the area so I was VERY willing to relocate. I had nothing going on in my life except those relationships & I currently don't have much going on in my life except for spending a lot of time with my girlfriend. I never really had an idea where my life was going partly due to being disabled. I've always been a major slacker.

Hopefully up. 10 years ago I had just begun my journey of figuring out the causes of my own ASD and how to treat it, and had started doing so. I went from below rock bottom to starting to climb my way up.

Did I think at that time that I'd ever be where I'm at now? No. But now where I'm at seems like the ground floor compared to my potential and I have a whole lot more way to go onwards and upwards!

Social life is fine, sex life is fine, friendships are amazing, new car is paid for, classic motorcycle is paid for, money in the bank, no debt, probably going to buy another car tomorrow (a roadster), income just tripled, working on the most exciting business project I could ever imagine - for my best friend's tech company - and we're making moves that's going to grow it by multiples/year, about to get my ass in gear and get back into better physical shape with a high performance human as a personal trainer, working on rescuing one of my God son's from an abuse home life situation with his foster parent/legal guardian, helping a few people with renovations with my trade, making some side income from that too, stacking cash towards goals of shifting gears to being a student again and so on.. yet all of this has simply become my new normal baseline minimum vs. feeling like "I've made it, mission accomplished, I'm done." My entire life has been elevated and all of this is simply my base to continue building on and making forward progress & improvements to achieve ever bigger goals.

10 years ago I'd have never imagined any of this was even possible, let alone probable or would become a baseline minimum that I almost take for granted as just being "Meh, whatever - this is my life now.. and I'm not stopping here because I have so much more to achieve." But, here I am and this Is my reality.



^Einstein likely never said that. It's traced back to some guy on some internet forum. But it's still my favourite internet quote of all time.

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