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Nobody has blue eyes, everyone has brown eyes, but some people's brown eyes are defective and they see other people's brown eyes as being blue.

I don't constantly lose my phone, my pencils.. at my own house.

If you swallow chewing gum it will wrap around your heart and form an impenetrable rubbery barrier that will protect your heart from damage and infection.

If you swallow an apple seed it will sprout inside your feet and you will become an apple tree in 6 weeks.

People with a letter "Q" in their surname never suffer from dandruff

Spiders can understand cats, regardless of their nationality

If you look after a hard-boiled egg properly with enough love and care, a hard-boiled chicken will come out of it.

Walnuts are actually mummified rats' brains.

I LOVE it when people touch my hair, shoulders, ears and backs without warning me, it's the best feeling in the world and has never caused me to have a meltdown so bad that I couldn't do anything but cry or act like a statue for half an hour.

I love it when people move my stuff. I wish more people would take the small route between my table and someone else's table and knock my pencil case on a diagonal angle, it's not like I just spent the last few minutes getting it just perfect.

I hate it when my food is separated, I just love the taste of my McDonald fries mixed with your burger.

(I could go on, but I'm satisfied now.)

If you poke your index finger into your belly button and turn it anti-clockwise your bum will fall off.

I love CAPTCHAs, I can't get enough of them. This world needs more CAPTCHAs.

If you eat enough protein, your height will double.

The sun is staring at my window.

Scientists have proved that triangles do not exist, they actually have four sides but only three are visible.

Codfish can play the trumpet but not the trombone