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My itty bitty Game of Thrones rant (spoilers for 8x04):

I hate that the show is turning Dany into the mad queen. It totally ruins her whole character arc of being better than her father and doing the best for her people and caring for the innocents etc etc
Plus they like made her go mad in like the span of 4 episodes wtf D&D
No matter his claim and popularity, if someone doesnt want to rule they probably arent going to be very good at it
I feel like theyre really doing my girl dirty. Why cant the woman win?? (mildly peeved that their arent any female script writers or directors of GoT)
Plus how DARE they kill Missandei???? Like ok the dragons I get, but they just killed the kindest, purest soul in GoT and might I add the only black woman on the show
Also how they essentially implied that Sansa getting raped and abused was "empowering"??? Like WTF???
Seriously I love this show but this last episode seemed seriously misogynistic

The Kinks are my most favourite thing in the world.

i HATE stiffened low-rider [car] suspensions that don't have any cush whatsoever, along with those RIDICULOUS big wagon wheels and rubber band tires that go along with 'em.

No means no.
I don't feel like giving people 'light' and 'hope'.

If fact, I stopped quite a long time ago.
Another time, another place. 10 years wasn't it? On another online community setting. I used to give them to other people, just not in this forum. Of course I'm not your cheesy type of prep talker back then, I'm not that loud cheer leader. Surprisingly, I was this person who keeps the whole thing together.

So, what changed?
Nothing exactly changed, not really. During those times? I got nothing real to be angry about, nothing to be worried about except for two things -- connection, and the well being of others.
But now then, due to some limitation that executive function disallows, I have to choose between connections from... Whatever the real life is demanding. And that demands are but a source of stress and anger.

And so what does this left me? Yeah, I can still remember those days.
But that doesn't mean I'm bound to do it again.
Then why? Because I don't feel like it. There's no fire left to warm or burn another, there's no energy to give to. It's all drained out on somewhere else. It's all replaced by this stress, by this 'locked flow' whenever I have to work, by this frustration all because it keeps reminding me why I don't like being a human in the first place.

That part of me is still alive -- the one that would give hope, the one that has the patience, the one who accepts humans and humanity for what it is, the one who always thinks one can always have a chance...
But that part of me is spread thin, if not squashed by the corner by the overwhelming size of other aspects.
This part of me is still hoping. Still waiting... It'll always been, even after all these years. I can feel it... It wants to cry, it wants to reach out...

So why not surface it again? It's not that easy. I have to unlearn or weaken certain concepts, find this piece a source or a drive. They're more complicated.
To force it is no different from the lying self, who just happened to be drawing from memory for a script from within. That thing will steal from what little left that part of me had. It'll basically stamp out it's existence, be replaced by something less genuine or corrupted. I wouldn't want that, it's almost impossible to un-corrupt something.

Just why? Why not surface it again? Why not be this person again?
.. Even if all my friends in the world would've wished it, even if I did wished it... I won't. I won't until I resolve this inner working myself. The direct approach from other party are just... Temporary. It won't work well because it's just an external drive, a 'condition' of sorts in which can be disregarded.
I need an internal drive -- one I cannot easily ignore. Those things are not created, they're developed. It had to be gradually strengthen, and it's not something I have to come up out of the blue.

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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

why does somebody have to RUIN a perfectly good cadillac sedan de ville by chopping most of the springs away so that it's an inch off the ground and is so stiff-riding that you can feel a pebble underneath a tire driving it?

I am accepting a couple shifts this week.

I need new clothes. I’m down two clothing sizes. My size 20 jeans and 3x tops are looking baggy.

4% of lost remote controls were later found to be in the fridge or freezer, a survey says.

Gunter glieben glauten globen

madnor.