What's on your mind right now?

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Yeah I don't drive either, more because of autism and the anxiety that goes with it. When you have to measure in your mind rather driving with anxiety that makes you miss details that could easily kill you vs dealing with the slightly delayed effect that a "sane" dose of cannabis would give is safer, then you don't need to be driving. Still I have done decent the last few times, I don't think I'll ever drive, one of the many things I can't do because I am disabled... Yay me...

I hate autism, it makes me depressed...

Isn't my life a bowl of cherries, of course yours isn't great either but at least you sounded like you were happy with your position in the universe. I am not, I am miserable. College? No your disabled and can't function. Work? No your disabled and can't function. At least the games are awesome, that part is pretty cool, and the fact I can just live in a video game for 20+ hours is pretty awesome and kind of worth the rest of the crap that came with my life. I am pretty sure God will find me after the apocalypse playing my solar powered SNES in the mountains.

i think you can be happy whatever your situation.
have you been watching much of the paralympics?
pretty inspiring stuff.

Or maybe its the cure?

No,

I am baking hardcore because life sucks and it is not getting better. Its that like the olympics for the disabled? Thats great that people can do great things and be disabled but when you look at it though my eyes it really only helps then. I am still screwed, I still have no socials, I still have poor emotions, I still can't function. So they can function, what good does that do me if I can't function. If I achieve nothing then I was the one worse off. They had something to be proud off, they had an existence, I have none and never will. It seem I don't even have a place here. I am pretty worthless when you think about it.

nobody is worthless.

Maybe your right, Blub blub

aunt blubby.

Everyone who's living has an existence.

Rant over,

Damage report, not that bad, I need to chill. You know 3DO wasn't a bad game studio, they were just a bit misunderstood. Might and Magic is an amazing series of games, Ubi Soft up and murdered it, Heroes of Might and Magic 1-3 is amazing and Might and Magic 1-8 is amazing.

Playing Might and Magic 8 tonight and its amazing, Gameplay is actually way ahead of its time in concept, some of its implementation is bit off but otherwise this would be hardcore gaming in the 90s the way I say it, been playing since 3:00 PM, its almost 2:00 AM now. I got a 4:3 screen and its a retro as retro is getting.

My possible suicide mission into the deadly abyss

And to ramble more about Might and Magic 8, it works on Arch Linux through wine flawlessly, its beautiful in all of its 16 bit brilliance. I don't even think windows could run it this good since they hate on some of that older windows 9x stuff.

many books written that show it to be anything but an abyss.

The only thing I ask for in the afterlife is no pain, I don't know how much more I can take. I am don't need the things that the christian bible promises but I am down for it if it beats the alternative. Why not pray? If he is there and I don't believe I am screwed and if he isn't, then I have nothing to lose. I would be down for an abyss too if it was painless but God says he can fix it, I say give him a chance to fix it cause its not going to get worse either way and it might get better,

I am honestly not expecting much from my existence.

Not much, once again.

I managed to get up early (if you consider past 10:30 am early) and go out for lunch with my mom. But while we were almost finished with our meal there was a guy on the other side of the restaurant who first started coughing and hacking loudly and it sounding really unhealthy, not mention unappetizing. He sounded like he was about to bring up a lung! Then he started sneezing explosively, over and over again. Luckily he was too far from us to give us his germs (I hope). I knew I should have felt bad for him because he sounded like he had the great-grandmother of all colds but then I started laughing.

This apparently resembles AZ.... Does it actually look like him and I need to get my eyes checked or something?