What did you achieve today?

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I got some editing done, to straighten out my books a bit.

I achieved something I haven't done for a long, long time. I took the bus. It was a noisy environment and people barged in to me a lot, no one said sorry either. When I got off the bus my breathing was bad, I felt sick and dizzy like I was about to have a panic attack. I had to go to a public toilets which I normally avoid, but I threw up which was unpleasant. But overall I'm proud of myself for taking the bus, it was frightening for me but I am proud of this achievement even if I did suffer after I got off the bus. I'm still shaky now but recovering with my cat giving me a cuddle.

I finished shredding documents related to social assistance.

I made solid progress so far, of separating banjo from guitar, and both from background noise.

Am I addicted to white noise?. It feels good to be free and released of a pornography addiction.

Very little, I cooked some pasta. I'm very tired, last week I cycled 1000km through France.

I saved the planet.
I helped a dear friend look for an important transcript.
I repressed my feelings about said friend.
I thought about my repressed feelings, but they remain repressed.
I felt sad about repressing the sadness.
I walked my dog.
I mixed up my clean and dirty dishes in the kitchen.
I developed a headache.
It's time for Ally McBeal.

I started decorating for Christmas, very small things, but it's a start.

Not killing myself; I say this not because I have suicidal tendencies or to disrespect what might be associated with suicide but because I am a firm believer in how 'not killing yourself is half the battle'. When it comes to mental health issues the parrallels (not focusing on *overlap*) between addiction and suicide in terms of the lines of thinking can be disturbingly uncanny in my opinion.

If I ever do nude life drawings I would hope that saying such things would help me build 'an immunity' to pondering about comparing it to my pornography addiction because of how if I am to be effective at figure drawing I can't have 'empathy of detriment' like guilt freezing me up with thoughts of pornography and struggles from the past.

made meself walk between the raindrops.

I'm glad I am not feeling too guilty--yes, I did watch 'cheesecake-y' like content late into the night that I went to sleep at ~5 .a.m. (currently it is ~11:45 .p.m. EST)..but by 'stretching it out' with other 'excitement' grabbing content like big anime fights I kept it under control. BELIEVE ME it could have been *much* worse with what I could have seen putting me in a usual slump...the emptiness of the room without my younger brother might entice me to think more of sexual fantasies.

I am quite surprised I am functioning at this hour with ~6 hours until the sun starts to notably set.