Got Anything Random To Say

Post Reply New Topic

So busy!

I need a haircut soon, or I’m going to need to start calling my dog Scooby (because I’m shaggy)

My school did not cancel classes today. All classes were conducted online.

Campus yet again.

I am going to campus tomorrow

I am getting a lot done today.

Managed to do some things of a positive nature.

In the Gregorian calendar, there is no "year zero."

The cutoff was from 1 BCE to 1 CE.

It's been several weeks since I had coffee flavored consumable. It's been MONTHS since I had any caffeinated caffeine.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

^ Several weeks, or maybe even months ago now, I suddenly looked at a cup of coffee and couldn’t stomach even the thought of drinking it. I stopped all caffeinated beverages that day. I didn’t get tired and still get less tired than I was when drinking caffeine.

Strange

I kinda need a coffee in the morning because of the tranquilizers for sleep creating a stumbling around in a haze zombie Dill (when you hit sleep that long half-life does its thing as it's not being eaten up by consciousness and physical activity). It helps me return to the living.

Once I tried a sleep aide. Melatonin to be exact.
It gave me jetlag sensations similar to drinking too much caffeine at night.

Instead of relaxing sleepy kind of way, more like my insides are working harder to be kept awake. Restless kind of tired.


I'm not sure why. Maybe there's a hidden factor I didn't knew at the time I had took some.

I got plenty of varying versions of 'sleepy' or 'tired' in my case.

Which is actually nighttime circadian sleepy, which is lack of sleep sleepy or tired, which is mentally tired, which is hormonally prepping kind of sleepy, which is sensory abuse kind of tired that may resemble like a shutdown.
Or even which is low blood pressure kind and not enough iron kind of tired, and which is low blood sugar kind of tired.

It might've something to do with internal sensitivities and factoring that sensitivities with several kinds of hormones and it's interactions.
Then add the female reproductive cycle on the mix along with it. As if deducing from 200+ possible symptoms of PMS is enough.


I got no available option to get out of the usual baseline of foggy and half groggy without getting into inappropriate extremes.

All I get instead is hyperactivity or restlessness or some symptom like tremors in attempts to gain energy from consumables.

As if I have to keep restraining myself from doing something stupid after taking one, because something else in me isn't just letting me to appropriately awake and energized.
Instead I just get another form of dysregulation.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Going to campus today.

Getting things done makes me feel great today.

I've never tried Melatonin, nor was it offered or recommended. I can see why it can help, but like with everything, drugs or hormones in the mirror may work opposite than what they appear.

They kinda went straight to the heavy medications for me (major tranquilizers), likely due to how heavy my eyelids were and how dead I looked (externalized Cotard's?). So uh, I went from zombie sleeplessness to zombie sleepy. Sometimes, in bad Dill moments, zombie sleeplessness is all I have, regardless of the heavy medication. Just mental illness stuff, bad life stuff, culminating in some insomnia demon caricature doing those insomnia sessions breaking through heavy medications. For the rest of life (or is it death? Sometimes I can't tell the difference), the heavy medication is enough, and without it, I'm back to zombie sleeplessness. Moderate medication has no effect (GABAA receptor agonists), even though they keep on giving me prescriptions for them. (My collection is quite good.)

I do have quite a few nightmare states, which are nightly, along with the night terrors. My body doesn't like sleep it seems and does all it can to keep it away.