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Nightmares are rare for me.

And are usually residuals of viewing or reading something creepy instead of relieving traumas or displaying fears.
Even rarer for me to wake up with symptoms of having nightmares.


I had it a bit easier in life. In an emotional sense. The rest is a bit on a short side; usually economic related.

My main issues about mental and emotional health is mainly hormonal, not situational.
Just out of sheer stress and mismanaged my way to dysregulation.

I've only recently trying to learn how to manage stuff. Because I only just got a room for barely 4 months now.

The mental health stuff got easier for me ever since I have my own room -- finally able to therapy myself into confessions and expressions without worrying about privacy.
A space of my own got rid of a weight in my head that's been residing for years.

And I've only been starting to finally attain an actual routine.
Even if it was a very simple one.

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

Seeing my family today.

I rarely have nightmares, though I did have one recently. But I can’t remember what it was about. Just woke up trembling with fear. Mostly sleep well, even better now the caffeine is out of my system. I’m awake more in the daytime, startlingly, after stopping an antidepressant. Apparently it was drugging me more than helping me. Who knew?

Dill, I’ve had periods of sleeplessness, but never as bad as you are experiencing. I’d just lie in bed and listen to the grandfather clock chime out the hours. In another period, I was terrified of sleeping. I was in a terrifying custody battle with the family of my foster daughter. The battle totally unhinged me for years. I couldn’t go to sleep. My body was so wound up.

Edna, I am glad you finally got a room of your own. That is so very important.

I got a lot done today.

So today, someone interpreted something I said as me being stuck-up/haughty/holier-than-thou. And for the first time I understood it was due to my social ineptitude secondary to autism. Oh, this is what it is. Light bulb.

PETA has got to be one of the most extremist, immature and just plain evil "charity groups" in the world. If I visited an island in Animal Crossing NH that was called "Veganville" and was told I am not allowed to fish or hunt for insects, I'd just leave. Playing Animal Crossing doesn't hurt anyone or anything. PETA does.

I can't believe that I was keeping a an insecticide spray can right next to (actually touching) the oven for months. I moved it away from the oven only today. I knew it's flammable but for some reason I was oblivious of the danger for months. Lucky that nothing happened.

Next week I will be going shoe shopping.

Edna3362,

Good that you don't have many nightmares, along with the lack of after effects and I'm presuming daymares. With saying that, you kinda get used to it all though, and they do wax and wane even if always present to some extent.

Easy or hard will be one of those subjective things, I guess. I haven't really had it all that hard (I'm still alive and bothering people on a forum ), as I've always had my own room and a loving parent; all the events, mental illnesses, pain and suffering, are just past mountains I traversed and things I carry, much as we all do. Tolerance levels ingrained. Internal things are just as bothersome as external things. Also good that you've finally gotten your own room and your mental health has improved. It can be quite a transition. You perfectly explained why one needs their own space right there, quadruply so for someone with Autism. Hopefully it continues to look skyward for you. I hope any painting you do with your own room goes better for you than it does for me, lol.

blazingstar,

Sorry to hear about your past problems with the custody of your daughter, and yeah, that'll keep you up at night. The active body is exactly why. Sympathetic nervous system things. I don't really directly talk about the things that keep me up at night (I liked talking with my old psychiatrist about such as he understood). I guess I do have some filter; I'm somewhat guarded with some of that Dead Sea salt. There was someone I spoke to about it all, who was around soon in the aftermath of when things culminated as they want to do, and he had some similar experiences. He sadly checked out.

Easter everyone.

I got to see my Niece and Nephew yesterday. They are such a good family. My 2 and a half Niece said the s word. She was mad she had to have her diaper changed.

when your opinion of "pharmaceutical social engeneering" gets more popular(ised)

Operation Starve off Starvation has been somewhat of a success after the small trial run of growing potatoes and the subsequent real deal. I figure there's in excess of 100 at various stages of growth; I'm growing them in a rolling manner so there'll always be some ready and the tail-end a month or two off. Meaning, I should always have some food now to buy enough time to eventually get out if something comes up. The native critters don't care about them. (I checked on them today when doing unrelated stuff outdoors. Which was my third and final day of battle against some demon creeper that suddenly manifested from the 50th layer of the abyss from all the "blissful" rain, which I cast back with the pickaxe of...the madness' kiss.)

Just sliced and fried or baked (wrapped in foil and thrown in a fire works too). Good enough for me. The trial run of consumption of the trial run of growing didn't end the suffering, so all is good.

Lots to do today

No

I heard the other day that kids in the US have been watching Peppa Pig so much during the lockdowns that they've started speaking with a British accent and using British words for things.

I guess that must explain why I sound more like an American than a Canadian because when I was younger I used to watch the American Sesame Street on PBS, and I started saying "zee" instead of "zed" and "soda" instead of "pop". When people told me the differences I was pretty embarrassed.

Still can't really say "sore-ry" instead of "saw-ry", though.

I haven't taken my Christmas tree down yet. I'll light it when decorating pysanky Easter eggs.