Dear R,
Although you are not the man that I wanted you to be, perhaps you feel the same about me. I may not ever be your leading lady...and am trying to not "cry" as the song posted below puts it. Sometimes my tear-stained pillow reminds me that it is in our weakness that we are strong. Other times, it keeps me somber when my hope is to just keep moving on.
We've known each other off and on for at about 6-7 years now and many of our interactions held sparks and chemistry. But, the fact that we never transitioned from friendship into a romantic relationship...one where we could spend more time, date, and get to know each other even better tells me the likelihood of that happening now is quite small.
You should know that the reason I couldn't show up at our state/district trainings, conferences, and such anymore was because the thought of running into you again just broke me down. What would you say? What would I say? Would it be super awkward again like it was with our last few interactions. Would we even speak at all or just hold long glances at each other from far across the room?
The truth: I do miss you. At the same time, I just can't keep pining away for you. The thought of wanting to be with you when you never even told me about your feelings...it cuts deep. More than likely, you'll never even happen upon this message because it'll be lost somewhere out there in the internet abyss. But if you do per chance feel a twinge in your heart while I'm writing this miles away and you ever cared at all...perhaps fate will have it that we can be reunited one day. It's been over a year since we've even communicated...and your last email still stings due to the dismissive words. Whether you meant for it to hurt or not, it did.
I wish things weren't so complicated. Dear R...this is my song for us this evening.
Sincerely,
Me
https://youtu.be/agrXgrAgQ0U
_________________
Your Aspie score: 154 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 56 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
AQ Test Score: 37