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he's gotta be

Tha's gorrit all wrong. I'm a green tea man, I am. Just cus I'm a tough, real man from Yorkshire du'n't mean I'm norra man o' taste. Tha shunt meck assumptions.

post-mortem tea

Is somebody dead then like or are you actin' t'goat?

Eee by eck lad
Get yer sen in an put wood in thole
Was tha born in a barn or what

T'wood's already in t'ole. Tha's as daft as I am and that's sayin' summat.

Tha's daffer than t'brush

Well if am daft, it's them rednecks as drove me to it. A'v 'ad enough, I'm gunna get sum taters. Me belly's chafin' me backbone a'm that 'ungry.

Does tha belly feel like tha throats bin cut lad

I could go some bacon and eggs on toast.

Go for it

I definitely recommend food to anybody feeling hungry. Follow me for more lifestyle tips.
I once read a sermon advising that people who are tired should have a rest, so I clearly have God on my side. All I need now is some scripture that mentions eating when you're hungry and I could be Farrah ToughDiamond.

About the belly and cut throats thing - it was but I've fixed it by taking my own advice. Sadly, I started feeling a bit faint while relaxing and watching a video while I had my taters, and my blood pressure is a little low. It does that sometimes, though it's supposed to be better than it being high. Time to self-medicate with some more tea I think. This time non-decaffeinated. If that doesn't fix it I'll try going to Walmart. That's enough to put anybody's blood pressure up.

Is the Walmart prescribed?
I self medicate my low blood pressure with water and shiploads of salt.
Then I go and get my daily wasp stings for cancer prevention.

Walmart isn't prescribed by the doc, it's just an intervention of my own that seems to work, though it's not a pleasant one. They say that eating and talking raises the blood pressure, but those things don't work on me. They also say alcohol lowers the blood pressure, and therein lies an interesting possibility for hypertension. Trouble with caffeine for hypotension is that it takes an hour or two to act.

My cancer prevention is a healthy diet and holding my breath when going through smoky or otherwise polluted air.

Mmm, food - lovely stuff. I never eat anything else.

Truly we are very perceptive men.