Two truths and a lie

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My apologies. I didn't know you were married. Is your wife (assuming not husband) neurotypical? I don't think anyone's life is mundane, even if you used to be quite shy. Do you have children?

My life has been overwhelming, for lack of a better word. I wouldn't call it "exciting" although I appreciate your attempt at a giving it a positive spin. I wonder how my life / your life / the life of anyone on the spectrum / would be different if we knew all along? Or, if we were born NT? I wouldn't want to be NT because I like my unique traits and they're embedded in my character, but I doubt I would have been so vulnerable to manipulation or marginalization if I wasn't socially naive.

1. All my dolls had the same name
2. I was obsessed with Grover
3. I won the city spelling bee

You just have this exuberance, Isabella. Your ideas flow. When you spoke about your enthusiasm for Elton John, you glowed. I sense that we are about the same age---but you are so youthful!

You probably have a unique perspective on things, after overcoming so much.

I'm sure, if we met, that we would be great friends.

You were born the way you were. Just like I was born the way I am. I have a few regrets--but not many. I'm just a clerk. But I will retire soon, with a decent pension. I've worked at the same place 37 years with no promotions.

Did you want me to determine which one of the things you listed was a lie? I would say #1.

I liked Grover okay. But I liked the Cookie Monster better. I was 8 years old when Sesame Street started. I sense, now, that you're about five years younger than me.

My wife is an NT---and doesn't understand much about me. She's a very practical person; whereas I'm sort of a creative-type person.

We have more a brother-sister relationship now than a husband-wife. We respect each other. We are great friends.

This is absolutely the sweetest message ever. Thanks so much
I think I'll print and frame it if you don't mind. I might even show my psychologist tomorrow. I'll be able to tell him: "Yes, there are nice people out there, apparently".

All my dolls did have the same name (I couldn't tell them apart, so why not -- plus it was the only girl's name I liked).
I worshipped Grover because he was naive but eloquent with excellent grammar (no contractions).
Cookie was, however, a great man. I'm glad you liked him.

I didn't win any spelling bees that I remember.
I only remember giving an art dedication at a library, and a book talk at the shopping mall. I didn't do competitive things.
Oh, and my teacher made me a yellow bookmark and let me be the first kid to use pen full-time (instead of pencil).

It was all downhill from there.

Thanks again. Yes you are in the ballpark of logical thinking.

That's sweet, Isabella. And I really like the name "Isabella." It's so classy and feminine. And classic, too.

My impression is that you will be able to give sage advice here, based upon your life so far. And it's sage because it's not cynical. Yet it's based on knowledge which might make many people cynical, even some people with strength.

You mention wearing a headscarf. This gives me a vision of you as being the Belle of the Drawing Room. The "good eccentric." The Bohemian who people flock to when they want to get away from the usual crap and gossip found in drawing rooms.

You have the unique inner strength to believe there is still romance. And you have been able to keep the good memories, as well as the bad. You don't have that sieve which separates the good from the bad, and keeps only the bad.

I need another frame. Thank you so much. You've become a trusted confidante.

Isabella is not my real name (unfortunately), but yes it is a pretty name. I like the colours and my life mirrors hers:

Isabella




Romance? Me? Never.

I meant "romance" more in the "chaste" sense, really.

It's because of your exuberance when you were describing living on the boat. And in your fandom.

You've gained enough wisdom to know when you are being duped----unlike the young Isabella Linton. This is wisdom which was hard-won---and which is solid.

You won't let yourself be duped any more!

You should write something about Isabella at around the age of 50.

People sometimes try to knock the idealism out of me. Sometimes very hard.

But I remain steadfast.

I feel like you've gotten many worse knocks than me.

But you've remained steadfast.

Just tell me when I'm overdoing it! I tend to do that in my exuberance.

But I do have an impression of you which is reflective of what I wrote.

Thank you again. My goodness you are so kind. I relate very strongly to Isabella Linton and her experience, as you can imagine. My situation was somewhat different because I wasn't married to the perpetrator and I didn't enter the arrangement the way Isabella did, but other elements of her abuse are strikingly similar. Yes my naivete was exploited and I was at a loss for social support to escape. I continue to be at risk of manipulation. My social intelligence is quite low and I have trouble knowing when my radar is accurate vs. whether I'm overreacting from anxiety.

Isabella was dead by fifty, and I would never in my wildest dreams attempt to rival the Brontë siblings (Branwell included), but I would like to explore her psychology more. I'm not a very good writer but I will ponder her plight.

I agree that idealism is important. That's all there is in this lifetime, really. I had no choice in my situation but to play the game and keep myself alive using ideals. I'm not sure it got me to the best place, but at least I'm here.

Speaking of steadfast, do you watch Six Feet Under? What do you think of Nate?

You are very kind. I see you as honest, forthright and humble despite a marked intelligence.

Cheers

I haven't thought much about Nate in a while LOL.

I believe he is a conflicted man who has strong morals, nevertheless. He's a flawed man---but a basically decent man.

I had / have a huge crush on David Fisher because he's so sweet and honest.

I liked Nate at first, but later realized he always acted out of obligation and resentment. It took me five years' of re-watching the series to realize this about him (here's an example of me needing to learn about personalities -- I had to study those characters).

Drop by Central Park for me some day, please. I was supposed to grow up and work for Sesame Street at the Children's Television Workshop in Manhattan, but things didn't quite work out for me.

Have a good night.

Isabella

Sweet Dreams, Isabella.

Do you ever watch old Sesame Street clips on YouTube?

Occasionally, but not as often as you'd think. They can upset me sometimes with memories and lost dreams.
My favourites were Here and There, and There's a Fly in My Soup (both Grover). There was an episode where cartoon construction workers built the letter "I" out in the woods, but I can't find that one. It was really cute.


I also loved the city scenes with real kids running around the city. It looked so fun and anonymous.

When Jim Henson died I nearly lost my mind. May 16, 1990. It really screwed me up in terms of a life plan because I wanted to work with him and Jon Stone.

Sigh.

I liked it when there was a magician, and Grover ruined it for him LOL.

There was this kid named Roosevelt Franklin. Remember him? I liked him, too.

I wasn't too keen on the Snufflelophagus when he started coming around; I was scared of him.

How about Bert and Ernie? Bert was funny even though he was a tightwad. I liked it when Ernie irritated Bert and when he took a bath with the rubber ducky.

Mr. Hooper reminded me of some candy store people I used to encounter in my neighborhood growing up.

Mumford the magician? Yes I know him and Roosevelt. Snuffy was neither here nor there. I was all about Grover, Cookie and Kermit. I can't listen to Kermit clips with Jim's voice.

Kermit was sort of the efficient/leader type, I thought.

Miss Piggy certainly took a fancy to him.

I was messy with cookies like Cookie monster.

I still sometimes imitate him.