Things I Don't Get

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That's part of it. The world is disabling to me and it's only getting worse because of my burnout and trauma.

What I meant is that even beyond autistic considerations, my family has always struggled. It's like we have a black cloud over us. It's gone back for generations. If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong, multiple times over, and my family will always be in the crosshairs. I can't even tell people about it because they assume I'm exaggerating. Sometimes they even laugh like my life is a running joke, a bad sit-com, or a tragicomedy. I'm freaking sick of it. I just want one normal day in my life, like ever - a day where I don't wake up with unending catastrophes pre-sewn into the fabric before I even open my eyes.

Sensory problems are the only thing I feel alienated about in this world. The world is made up of sensory stimuli to alert people's attention all the time, and the average NT has the superpower to deliberately ignore horrible sounds that can't be helped. I lack this superpower. A noise is a noise, I don't care if it's a darling little child having a screaming meltdown because it can't help it because it's a only a child, to me it's a NOISE and I have to get away. I wish people would understand that.

I think I know someone who feels exactly the same way

Some people at my work would literally chuckle and say I had a PODA (Problem of the Day). My secretary would often greet me with "Hey, what's your PODA?" It wasn't uncommon for people in the department to joke around like "What new and ungodly things happened to you on the weekend?"

I'm all for using humour to diffuse crappy situations, and most of them did really care, but after I while I started to believe I'm the brunt of a sadistic, cosmic joke. That was years ago and the PODAs still haven't stopped.

Hugs to anyone who feels the exact same way. I know I'm not alone in this, and everything is 10x more difficult when we're stuck in an NT world that just can't relate.

My whole life has been like that, like the worst work of fiction.

{{{ u }}}

It’s an ancient curse.Found out in the old country we cast a puritan out in the cold on an empty belly and he cursed the hall and its occupants.That curse sure has some staying power.

I cope by telling myself it's a bad sitcom.

Although I do have the odd moment of things working out like it's a sitcom too. It's weird when a streak of main character level good luck disrupts the general pattern for a few days, or even a specific incident.

Sometimes I feel like my life is like a Lifetime movie - one with especially bad, far-fetched writing.

I just can’t talk about it with people offline for a variety of reasons.

I always tell people, including family, that I’m fine, okay, or even good when I’m not.

So we got our new cat from a family of stoners. Their house smelled like weed and dog piss. They had six dogs. They were being evicted and they decided the cat was the one they couldn't afford. SIX DOGS! A house that smelled like DOG PISS! I will never understand such people.

On a side note, Mocha will be better with us than with them.

I don't get why I have glandular fever when I haven't even been near enough to anyone to catch it, except my boyfriend but he hasn't got it. I don't go out much but when I do I'm always washing my hands or using hand-sanitizer.

A big problem for me is that I don't recognise people. I find it hard to tell them apart, especially women. I can't tell women apart until I know them pretty well. I can tell men apart for Reasons but I still find it difficult.

So online it is impossible. I rarely know who I'm talking to or who I've talked to before.

I'm similar. Also I always imagine what people would look like with bald heads. They would literally look the same.

/\Big ass Gerber babies.
I also have problems with faces, I remember voices better.

I remember names and words. If I know people's names I can do a bit better. But the names have to be memorable, not Jim463272436 or something. Or some name I can't relate anything to, like Fact Man or something.

I also think the world is getting more and more NT as the years go by. We all have to be the same now days, nobody is allowed to be different in any way. Probably because the world is overcrowded now.

Hope Mocha has a nice chilled life now.