Things I Don't Get

Post Reply New Topic

Right. ^

And if anyone notices this is happening or dares to point it out, they're the bad guy who is breaking rules.

Last edited by Joe90 on 06 May 2023, 7:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The cognitive sort, not the caring sort.

It requires one to have insights about the sorts of disinformation the other party might be susceptible to, but it would backfire if one cared about or felt how the other party would feel about being lied to and manipulated.

Require empathy?

How?

If I were to have an argument with a partner who stole a bunch of money from me and I called them out and proved it, but they lied and insisted I was wrong and crazy because my proof didn't make sense, or told me that I always lie by accusing them of stealing things, how would that be empathetic?

It's more of a deflection, or quite often a projection of the gaslighter's own instability.

Fun × fun... to me... I keep blowing skill checks and getting hooked first, so I doubt anyone else playing survivor is having fun playing with me. lmao

I figured if it was just fun + fun you wouldn't be so amazed.

I'm glad I can play Chel drunk, superspeedway racing while drunk is dizzying and kinda scary. (I mean, if monsters in a game are scary, why wouldn't omfg I'm gonna crash and get hit by a dozen other cars not also be scary?)

I don't get how video games trigger the same visceral response as actual threats.

Why supposedly left wing socialists, who adore Jeremy Corbyn, will willingly enable a decidedly right wing government because for them the Labour party isn't left wing enough.

Well it's usually how empathy is explained whenever someone points out about their NT bullies lacking empathy for autistic people (or society in general), the answer is always "that's what empathy is, it doesn't always mean good, it means one is able to manipulate others or make other's lives hell" or something like that.

Or if it only means cognitive empathy then maybe the people you're talking about mean they have cognitive empathy and not emotional empathy.

God I hate that ugly word.

It's f****d up really. If I were to say to you "you're a big fat smelly wally" because I wanted you to feel offended then apparently that's empathy. If I was to call you a big fat smelly wally without knowing that it will offend you then that's lacking empathy.

(Disclaimer: I am not implying you're a big fat smelly wally, it's just an example).

^ reported

Well, a bully might rely on cognitive empathy when deciding that calling me a flubby plushie farmer will be more offensive than calling me a scrawny, sandle-wearing, goldfish-tender.

But choosing to bully me at all demonstrates a lack of affective and somatic empathy.

Affective empathy is knowing how to appropriately respond.
Somatic empathy is actively feeling how another feels.

If the bully had too much of the latter, they couldn't bully because they'd feel too bad about it.
The bully may or may not actually lack affective empathy, but they're choosing to either not use it, or they're knowingly using it to inflict harm.

When someone says the most calculated cruel thing they can think of, they're probably relying on affective empathy, but for bad purposes.

https://psychcentral.com/lib/why-do-som ... ck-empathy


People who have low empathy may excessively criticize other people for experiencing or expressing emotions in certain scenarios.

Someone with a lack of empathy may also blame the person for what they’re experiencing. For example, they may say things like, “If you didn’t do those things, you wouldn’t be in trouble now.”

Someone who isn’t empathetic may also label people or behaviors without considering the context. For example, they may criticize a colleague for being late, without realizing or appreciating that they have a sick child at home.

Someone with low empathy may have trouble connecting to other people’s circumstances.

They may believe that a certain event would never happen to them, or that they could handle the situation “much better.” Because they feel this is the case, they won’t be able to understand or feel the other person’s distress.

Because they have difficulty understanding another person’s perspective and sensing their emotions, a person that lacks empathy will sometimes think emotional reactions are not valid, or they may act in dismissive ways.

They may think people’s feelings are optional or come from what they may perceive as an emotional deficit. “You’re feeling that way because you want to or because you’re too sensitive, not because it’s really that bad.”

Someone with low empathy may joke about someone’s emotions or circumstances. They may also have a difficult time actively listen to you. They could also act chirpy or indifferent after you just expressed feeling sad or stressed.

Someone who is empathetic might try to cheer you up if they see you down. But someone who isn’t may ignore how you feel altogether.

Often, low empathy may result in a person not realizing that their actions can affect others. Other times, they may understand that their behavior impacts other people, but they may not feel remorseful about it.

This means that someone may act in selfish or vindictive ways without realizing or caring if that hurts you.

Low empathy may lead to constant friction in relationships or a lack of meaningful bonds.

When someone has a difficult time understanding other people’s feelings or acting in helpful ways, they may end up with few or no meaningful connections. Sometimes, they’re not even aware this is happening.

Everyone may experience low empathy at times. For example, it may be natural to have difficulty feeling and expressing empathy toward someone who has harmed us.

There is some debate on whether a person is born with low empathy or if upbringing, social factors, or life experiences may hinder their ability to develop it, or even limit it. Genetics may also play a role.

Other possible factors associated with low empathy include:

narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)
Machiavellianism
sociopathy or antisocial personality disorder
borderline personality disorder (BPD)
alexithymia
autism

I getcha, that word has multiple meaning that aren't aligned with each other, so conversations involving it can be confusing.

Wait, no, let me rephrase my last post.

If an NT were to say to you "you're a big fat smelly wally" because they wanted you to feel offended then apparently that's empathy. If an Aspie was to call you a big fat smelly wally because they wanted you to feel offended then that's lacking empathy.

^Does not compute, computer says no.

Who said that Joe?