Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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I got woken up again.

I cried for the first time in ages.

So maybe he had a change of heart and decided to revoke that casual invite. But was avoiding my texts all day yesterday and all day today the right way to go about it?

We have a dinner date on Friday. Yes, a platonic yet romantically awkward DATE! If he flakes out of that one in a similar way I'll be very pissed.

Nothing

Same as yesterday, this time with the addendum of self loathing and blaming myself for how I get treated, for y'know....me being "unstable".

I have a lot to do today.

Partial nonverbal shutdown, for no reason! Noooo!

Poor Car. Left alone and abandoned at the wharf (serious, it's the only one still sitting there at this point). If it has attachment issues when I get it I'll know why.

On the other hand I hope it hasn't broken down (lemon lol).

Mother not listening to me.

I have a flu or something that's been kicking the s**t out of me. Combined with all the anxiety I've been going through lately, it feels like I've been through Hell and back.

Way behind on laundry and other routine stuff as a result of too much attention to SB50.

weather.

I had to wake up early today(well earlier than I usually wake lately) & I felt really tired. I took a Vivarin(caffeine pill) & I think it helped some along with having to go out. I still feel kind of tired but not too bad. I may feel like taking another Vivarin later thou.

I was just reminded how everything I like is weird, stupid, wrong and bad - even though it's not illegal nor immoral, which is what normal, healthy, productive adults my age are supposed to like. I am a complete loser and my parents are about the only people who care if I live or die.

For ages I have dreamed that one day I'll prove to the whole world that an aspie who never finished high school is unemployed and has no real friends can become a successful cartoonist, an animator or an author and illustrator. But that only happens in the movies. Actually, I don't recall seeing anyone becoming successful at making cartoons in any movie. So, I'm an even bigger loser.

Body still aches.

The roaches are EVERYWHERE still! Now it's not just the kitchen, they're coming into the main room and I suspect, crawling on me while I'm sleeping. I shouldn't care, they're just other beings, but I do and don't want those beings on me! I blame the people above and below keeping their flats like garbage bins because I am very clean.
And I don't want to kill the roaches! Just keep them out.