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Joe90
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06 May 2023, 6:47 pm

Fairfield wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
...I don't think it's fair to keep throwing the word empathy around on an autism forum, because it's a sore subject for some of us...

:skull: :skull: :skull:

Empathy is a common human emotion and something that autistic people commonly have a problem with. I don't see why anyone needs to stop talking about it on an autism forum just because a couple people don't like it. Legit just skip over things mentioning it and I promise you'll survive it being mentioned. lmao


I don't think autistic people have a problem with empathy any more or less than NTs. Although Funeralxempire says I have black and white thinking, I don't think I do, because I know that empathy is not all or nothing. NT1 and ND1 can lack empathy for situation A but can both feel empathy for situation B. NT2 and ND2 can feel empathy for situation A but can lack empathy for situation B.

And empathy can be discussed but I mean going around saying that people here lack empathy (sorry Isabella but you did sort of say that, better to say names really). It's like NTs have a right to not have to feel empathy for everything but autistics must feel empathy for everything otherwise people are quick to yell out "you lack empathy!"


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06 May 2023, 6:52 pm

Joe90 wrote:
When NTs don't understand something (as in being unable to consider the feelings of autistic people, for instance) the word empathy doesn't get brought up.


There is a difference between empathy and understanding and just because you don't understand something doesn't make you unempathetic sp? If an NT is unable to consider the feelings of an autistic person then I would class that as low empathy.



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And then people often say that empathy isn't a good thing and that any affectionate empathy we as autistics feel is compassion not empathy. And then the word empathy gets misunderstood and misused.


Yeah complete BS

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I've explained it already in the empathy thread in GAD, I'm becoming exhausted with keep explaining the same thing over and over.


Give me a link to your post in the GAD thread and I'll respond there.


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Last edited by Recidivist on 06 May 2023, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joe90
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06 May 2023, 6:52 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
I’ve heard empathy come up in conversations among NTs all the time. Maybe it just doesn’t come up in conversations with people you know personally. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen.

We tend to have in-depth conversations on here, so you might see it more often than with people offline in casual conversations.


No but people do it here. Like an autistic could be having a traumatic time with unsympathetic and selfish NTs in their lives but very seldom mention empathy, but a few autistics get into a disagreement here and the word is brought up and thrown around, and call me a snowflake but I get offended by it.


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Joe90
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06 May 2023, 6:54 pm

Recidivist wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
When NTs don't understand something (as in being unable to consider the feelings of autistic people, for instance) the word empathy doesn't get brought up.


There is a difference between empathy and understanding and just because you don't understand something doesn't make you unempathetic sp? If an NT is unable to consider the feelings of an autistic person then I would class that as low empathy.



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And then people often say that empathy isn't a good thing and that any affectionate empathy we as autistics feel is compassion not empathy. And then the word empathy gets misunderstood and misused.


Yeah complete BS

Quote:
I've explained it already in the empathy thread in GAD, I'm becoming exhausted with keep explaining the same thing over and over.


Give me a link to your post in the GAD thread and I'll respond there.


viewtopic.php?f=3&t=413435&start=48


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06 May 2023, 6:57 pm

I do not get why non-Americans use the collective 'We' when discussing American politics, as in "We need better candidates for president".  Do they really believe they are American citizens too?  Do they really not think their own countries need cleaning up first?



Last edited by Fnord on 06 May 2023, 6:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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06 May 2023, 6:58 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Although Funeralxempire says I have black and white thinking


No he didn't, he said it is possible, this may be where your problem lies Joe, just a thought.

funeralxempire wrote:
It's possible that you're reading what was said in an overly black and white manner as well, but either way, nuance has been lost and needs to be remembered.


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06 May 2023, 7:00 pm

I do not get why everyone seems to have different definitions for Capitalism, Communism, and Socialism when the dictionary definitions are very clear and understandable to all.



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06 May 2023, 7:06 pm

I don’t get my feelings. They make absolutely no sense whatsoever.



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06 May 2023, 7:09 pm

Joe90 wrote:
And empathy can be discussed but I mean going around saying that people here lack empathy (sorry Isabella but you did sort of say that, better to say names really). It's like NTs have a right to not have to feel empathy for everything but autistics must feel empathy for everything otherwise people are quick to yell out "you lack empathy!"


Where did I say you lack empathy?

I explained that gaslighting doesn't require empathy, or at least not the way I define gaslighting.


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06 May 2023, 7:11 pm

Joe90 wrote:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=413435&start=48


That post has nothing to do with empathy ( well slightly). it is more to do with being socially clueless and realising that not everyone wants a solution if they rant. Some people do want solutions and find it helpful. You need to read the social clues and know the person well to respond in a manner that will not offend them.

SharonB actually agreed with your point about validating but then said she is guilty of being a problem solver.

What's the issue?


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Joe90
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06 May 2023, 7:11 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
And empathy can be discussed but I mean going around saying that people here lack empathy (sorry Isabella but you did sort of say that, better to say names really). It's like NTs have a right to not have to feel empathy for everything but autistics must feel empathy for everything otherwise people are quick to yell out "you lack empathy!"


Where did I say you lack empathy?

I explained that gaslighting doesn't require empathy, or at least not the way I define gaslighting.


I didn't say you said I lack empathy.


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06 May 2023, 7:13 pm

Joe, I also know you have ADHD with RSD which can make you jump to conclusions - I empathise and sympathise with this.


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Last edited by Recidivist on 06 May 2023, 7:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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06 May 2023, 7:14 pm

Joe90 wrote:
And empathy can be discussed but I mean going around saying that people here lack empathy (sorry Isabella but you did sort of say that, better to say names really).


Who did I say it about, then?


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Joe90
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06 May 2023, 7:14 pm

Recidivist wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=413435&start=48


That post has nothing to do with empathy ( well slightly). it is more to do with being socially clueless and realising that not everyone wants a solution if they rant. Some people do want solutions and find it helpful. You need to read the social clues and know the person well to respond in a manner that will not offend them.

SharonB actually agreed with your point about validating but then said she is guilty of being a problem solver.

What's the issue?


I didn't say there was an issue. I thought you wanted the thread so that we can carry on our conversation there instead of here.

But among all the kajillion posts that bring up empathy on this forum (and probably all other autism forums), it usually explains somewhere that empathy is required for people to bully, gaslight, and lots of other toxic intentions.


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06 May 2023, 7:17 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I also don't get why people who say they have extremely high levels of empathy make threads to gaslight other people and claim it's normal human behaviour, or that others are lying if they don't do it too.


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06 May 2023, 7:20 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I’ve heard empathy come up in conversations among NTs all the time. Maybe it just doesn’t come up in conversations with people you know personally. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen.

We tend to have in-depth conversations on here, so you might see it more often than with people offline in casual conversations.


No but people do it here. Like an autistic could be having a traumatic time with unsympathetic and selfish NTs in their lives but very seldom mention empathy, but a few autistics get into a disagreement here and the word is brought up and thrown around, and call me a snowflake but I get offended by it.
It seems to me like "lack of empathy" is a hot trigger insult that doesn't really have any specific meaning. It's like the word Fascist in American politics. Dems often accused Trump of being one but some Reps use phrases like the "the fascist liberal agenda" & have accused Biden & Hilary of being one. It reminds me of Beavis & Butthead when they call each other names like Buttmunch :lol:


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Last edited by nick007 on 06 May 2023, 7:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.