Your Favourite Simpsons Quotes

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soldier: sir I am afraid you have gone mad with power.
EPA man: of course I am mad, have you ever gone made without power, its crazy no one listens to you.

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"""Marge: Quick, somebody perform CPR!
Homer: Umm (singing) I see a bad moon rising.
Marge: That's CCR!
Homer (still singing): Looks like we're in for nasty weather.""

Homer: "Well, time to go to work."
Brain: "Little do they know I'm ducking out early to take the Duff Brewery tour."
Homer: "Roll in at nine, punch out at five, that's the plan."
Brain: "Heh, heh, heh. They don't suspect a thing." [camera pans down to Homer's mouth, but he doesn't say anything] "Well, off to the plant."
Homer: "Then to the Duff Brewery."
Brain: "Uh, oh. Did I say that or just think it?"
Homer: "I've got to think of a lie fast!"
Marge: "Homer, are you going to the Duff Brewery?"
Homer: "Aah!" [Runs off]


"She must be in Little Italy."
"I'll get my little passport."

Moe: "I’ve done alot of things I’m not proud of, and the rest are disgusting!"

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Homer: "Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos"

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Homer: "I like my beer cold, my Tv loud and my homosexuals flaming"

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Ed Begley Jr.: "I prefer a vehicle that doesn’t hurt Mother Earth. It’s a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction"

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Sideshow Bob: "Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!"

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Superintendent Chalmers: “Thank the Lord”? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don’t have a place within an organized religion"

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Kent Brockman: "…And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night"

Reverend Lovejoy:

"Marge, just about everything’s a sin. [holds up a Bible] Y’ever sat down
and read this thing? Technically we’re not supposed to go to the bathroom"


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Homer:
"Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,”
and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught
me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?"
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Homer:
"You don’t like your job, you don’t strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed.
That’s the American way!"

(Sideshow Bob strapped under the Simpson's car)

Homer: "Hey! Let's drive through that cactus patch!"

Bart: "YEAH!"

Lisa: "YEAH!"

Sideshow Bob: "NO!"

Homer: "Two to one - MAJORITY RULES!" (Swerves off into cactus patch.)

Sideshow Bob: "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! "

Actually, just about everything in that episode makes my sides ache, especially the bit with Sideshow Bob stepping on the rakes - which are lying on the ground for no reason whatsoever.

^
thats a great one- his arch enemy, the rake

The townspeople are digging the ficitional "Timmy" out of the well:

"The canary is dead! Everyone out of the hole!"

Everyone running, screaming: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! !! !"

Dr. Hibbart: "This canary died of natural causes."

"Everyone back in the hole!"

Everyone running, screaming: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! !! !! !! !! !! !!"

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Homer (scoffing): "Facts can be used to prove anything even remotely true!"

(This is one great thread . . . )

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think i saw something in simpsons once, a short sidetrack in
a episode,a guys father was the guy that sat next to the canary,
so when he went down, the canary knew danger lurked
now thats a crappy job!

Homer one minute before some kind of freak accident involving explosives
he is in charge of:

"The word blown-up-abol is thrown around alot these days"

ooohh there was a golden Homer moment on tv just now, the one where
he`s hanging naked from a airballoon, and crash into the new church
roof, which is made of glass of course

So when the reverent says "everbody gaze up at Gods new roof" theres
a whole lot of big Homer ass being dragged, slowly, up the roof - that one
kills me everytime

"now quick, everbody, gaze down, down at Gods floor"

*Horrible loud naked-Homer-against-glass sound*

"still gazing down at Gods floor everybody, looking at Gods floor..looking down.."

I'm a fan of the good old "Doh!"

''The road to the Superbowl is long and pointless.''
My sentiments exactly!

Random guy: "..and the $100 bill goes to Ned Flanders"

Homer: "DOoh"

Ned Flanders: "O boy, i cant wait to give this to the orphanage"

Homer: "DOOOOOOOHH!!"

Lisa: "..you see dad, that would be like me saying this rock
(picks up rock) keep tigers away"

Homer: "Does it work?"

Lisa: "Well, you dont see any tigers around here do you?"

Homer: ".........................Lisa, i`ll buy that rock!"