I confess.....

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I confess that this is reply 3001.

I confess that reply 3002 is my 2345th post.....
Don't you just love it when everything lines up.
2345 screenshot

I confess that I am procrastinating too much on things I need to get done.

I confess I love cats and that is horrible! I hope your aunt's cat makes a full recovery.

I confess that I should worry about less stuff and get a lot of it off my mind, I end up getting too overloaded a lot right now

Thank you to those who wished Monster a recovery; they're trying more stuff today. I'll post if he gets better (or passes on, I suppose).

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Any conclusion you draw form that must be your own, naturally.

The thing about me is that I'm an unforgiving person. I'm at peace with that fact; tried too hard too long ago to change it, but it doesn't go away; it's part of who I am. But by the same token, it takes a lot to get that far with me; I won't be unforgiving over something trivial or even worse than that. But harming someone I care about (and I care about all of her cats; I care about my aunt as well, and she is hurt by this, more than anyone; her cats are her children. Monster in particular suffered at the hands of someone else; she tries to protect them from that) is an almost sure way to guarantee a spot on that (fortunately) short list.

To go with that, I have a rather short temper when something like that happens. My regret for either of those parts of me is none; as I said, I tried to change that a long time ago, and it's not going to change. I don't care. So long as I don't act on it to the degree that I could, it's not a problem.

It's not a fantasy with me, simply a knowledge of what I would do. I'm sure it will never happen; as of now, no one has been caught in connection with this, and it's highly doubtful that anyone ever will be. And if they did, it would be far past the point that I could do anything. So, I'll put it aside, but the knowledge is still there.

To be perfectly honest, once someone hurts someone I care about and/or an animal, I no longer care about what problems they may be facing. This may be the "wrong" attitude, but it is the one I take just the same; harming others who had no connection with the problem is unforgivable. I will not feel compassion for that person. There are many people I do feel compassion for; had he/she tried to gain help in another way, I would have cared. However, they choose the path which causes pain to others, and no, I don't feel for them at all.

People seem to forget that I am as dark as I am light; I just choose not to express the former very often, whether internally or externally.

i confess you are a f*****g idiot

I confess that I have little ability to get other people unless I am not involved with them.

I confess that I should be asleep now

I confess that I get annoyed when at a restaurant that serves rolls with a meal, they serve them with the rest of the meal. I'm not going to eat the things then; I'm going to eat the main course.

WARNING: Extra Long Confession (short story)

I confess, I was just sitting alone and listening to some music, and letting my mind wander. I found my mind troubled with thoughts of the human who’d recently poured glue on RainSong’s aunt’s cat.

I happened to glance at the table next to me, and noticed that my ex had left one of her jewelry containers there. Nothing more than a little tin, really, gaudily decorated with a sparkly green frosting and inset with multi-colored fake glass crystals. I picked it up, and pondered whether it might be a gateway box similar to Lemarchand’s. I studied the pattern of the dozens of crystals on the box, and noticed an odd symmetry in just two of them, red ones juxtaposed on either side of the center arrangement; on a whim, I pressed them down, and heard a “Click!”; I was startled when the top of the box, lifted itself partway up.

I noticed that the crystals had changed their pattern slightly, re-arranged in motifs of eight, all pointing slightly counter-clockwise. Purely as an act of instinct, I turned the top of the box 1/8 of a turn clockwise, and pressed it closed again. I heard another click, and the crystals re-arranged themselves into new patterns right before my eyes. I suddenly became aware that it had quickly grown much darker, but I assumed that dark clouds had drifted overheard, and paid this little mind; I was too focused on the box. Looking at the new pattern of the crystals, I noticed yet another singular symmetry; two pairs of green crystals oriented orthogonally matched, while none of the others did. So I pressed the two pairs of green crystals, and heard another click; and again watched as the top of the box lifted itself partway up, and the crystals re-oriented themselves. And I became aware that it had grown very dark indeed, as dark as a cloudy night; and I heard the logs in my cabin walls begin to creek and groan… And I thought, “OK, that’s strange.”

Looking at the new configuration of crystals, I notice that they are arranged in motifs of fours, all oriented slightly clockwise. So I turn the top of the box a quarter clockwise, and press it closed. And as it snapped shut, it crackled with energy which shocked me; startled, I dropped it onto the floor in front of the chair where was I’m sitting. And the cabin continues to creek and groan, and now I noticed strange lights passing through the cracks between the logs… And the top of the box springs open, and out pours a cacophony of light and sounds. And I got a cold shiver as I realized that was no longer alone…

I glanced behind me and noticed three figures lurking there. All was dark but for the light pouring out of the box. And I say “figures” because what I saw can not rightly be described as “people”. Each of them… Well, let’s just say that each of them appeared at a glance to have some serious, uh, issues. The central figure was apparently male, hairless, and naked but for some strange harness that looked like something one might wear as a “I’m in the shower” Halloween costume; the harness held what looked like a shower spigot over his head, and from the spigot hung a chain handle; and he was covered from head to toe with what looked like tiny cuts… To the left was someone who appeared to be female; at least she (?) had the figure of a female; and this creature wore a leather mask that covered her head except for her eyes; and she was wrapped from head to toe in leather straps, and from between the gaps in the straps and around her mask poked out what looked like various noxious plants: poison ivy, poison oak, nettles… And I realized this one was female, as she began feebly and franticly to scratch herself all over while chattering and cackling maniacally; and she had a rather crazed look in her eyes… And to the right was what looked like a tall rectangular box; and apparently standing in the box with just her head sticking out, was a gorgeous looking blonde woman with fair skin and brilliant green eyes. And I noticed that I was able to see the colour of her eyes because there was an aura of light coming out of the box around her neck, illuminating her face. And then the box opened, and I was bathed in light as she stepped forth; and for a moment I was struck breathless by the stunningly flawless silhouette of the female form she presented. For some reason I thought of Torrie Wilson in the shower… But as the box closed behind her, and she became illuminated in the ambient storm of light coming from my ex’s jewelry box, I noticed that she was suffering a sunburn that must have gone nearly to the bone. And I winced as when she stepped forward, I could see seething cracks all over her skin. She gave me a wry smile as I winced; and I realized she’d just stepped out of a tanning booth.

As the sun baked blonde smiled wryly at me, and as the leather and plant clad creature stood scratching and chittering, the central figure once again caught my attention my reaching up and pulling the chain on the shower fixture than was poised over him, and liquid poured forth from the showerhead and covered him; and I shuddered has he hissed in anguish. And then I was rather astonished to be met by the fragrant odor of <sniff> <sniff> …lemon juice? And the center figure spoke:

“We are the cenobites of integumental irritation. I am called Papercut; this one <motioning to the sun baked blonde> is Overtan. And the itchy one is Calamine. We –“

At this point I couldn’t help but to interrupt. I blurted out, “Um, excuse me? Did you say Calamine?”

At which point Calamine looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and said sheepishly, “I dunno; it’s supposed to be ironic or something, I think. 'Poison Ivy' was already taken.” And she glared at Papercut for a moment.

Papercut looked mightily annoyed at me having interrupted him. He quickly continued, “You have summoned us by solving the puzzle of your ex’s jewelry box. Now we have all of eternity to know the pleasures of your skin, human –“

At which point I felt, compelled to interrupt, yet again. Holding up my hand, I said, “Woah, waitaminute. ‘Human’? O’contrare, my lemony-fresh friend. I am a biomechanical construct made in the guise of humans; but human I am not. What you see before you is simply a puppet, a tool for my greater form to explore existence as one of these beings named ‘human’.”

Calamine looked a little confused, and Overtan just rolled her eyes. Papercut squinted and peered at me; he then bellowed, “Do not play games with us, human!” and as he raised his hands I found myself surrounded by a veritable tornado of flying papers. And I got glances of them: a tax form, a cable bill, something about winning a sweepstakes… And the storm of papers began to close in on me, and I knew I was just about to receive the worst rash of paper cuts imaginable.

So I yelled out, “Wait! Wait! I can prove it!” An Papercut looked slightly interested, and the papers stopped closing in for the moment. And as I am able to do from time to time if there is great need, I closed my eyes, let go of my body, and followed my thread of existence back to the outer plane where my true self dwells. And as my consciousness entered my true self and I once again became aware of my full nature, I drew back the curtain of space and time that separates my true self from the body it uses to explore humanity. And for a brief moment, my true self was revealed, and the very reality of the room where the cenobites and my human body was began to bend and twist in on itself. And the cenobites were stunned; Calamine squealed and tucked down into a little ball (she even stopped scratching for a few moments), Overtan leapt back into her tanning box, and Papercut stood, aghast. And as the curtain was replaced, reality shifted back to what it once was, and I found my way back to my human body…

And as I looked at the stunned cenobites, it was my turn to smile wryly at them. And I said, “I trust we’re clear?”

Papercut quickly shook off his shock, and seemed angry. He said, “OK, so you’re not human and are therefore not bound by the rules of the box as humans are. WHY, then, did you summon us? We MUST take someone…”

To which I replied, “All in good time, all in good time… First though, might I invite you all to join me for some tea?”

They all looked stunned once again, but this time in a much more pleasant way. And it occurred to me that this is probably the first and only time ever that someone has invited cenobites to join them for tea. And they eagerly accepted. I prepared a pot of Earl Grey, and Papercut was even kind enough to provide us with lemon juice. And we had a lovely time, me sharing adventures I’ve had while in my human guise, and each of them in turn telling me their own interesting tale, and how they each came to be cenobites. Finally, tea concluded, and they made ready to depart.

After I’d tidied up the tea table, I said to Papercut, “Oh, I very nearly forgot. Why I summoned you…I have a friend called RainSong—“

To which Papercut eagerly inturrpted with, “Ah, yes, give us this RainSong so that we might know her skin and ---"

I hastily interrupted, “No, no, NO! You are absolutely NOT to mess with RainSong! At all! I mean it! But… She has an aunt who has a cat who some exceptionally cruel human has poured glue all over, seriously injuring and possibly killing the cat. I want you to find that human. And I want you to make his skin seethe and burn and itch for all of eternity.”

Papercut looked at me, and with a nod gave me a smile that very nearly curdled my blood. “Excellent. So it shall be done…”

And there was a flash, and Papercut, Overtan, and Calamine were gone. And it was light out again. And my ex’s jewelry box was on the floor, where I had dropped it, closed. And as I sat back down in my easy chair, I breathed out a sigh of relief and contentment. And let my mind begin to drift once again…

Good fortune,

- Icarus has tea with cenobites...

Vorpal... What does the word vorpal mean? I was just watching "Sleepy Hollow" with my ex, and as it started I remarked that I was sure that the Hessian's sword was a "vorpal sword". So, her not being anywhere as geeky as I am asked, "Vorpal? What does that mean?" It is a rather esoteric word; if you're a geek and/or a roleplayer, the meaning of the word comes readily; if not, it sounds like nonsense. So I advised her, as I often do, "Go Wikipedia it..." And I did so also, just curious as to what I'd find. And, low and behold... The word "vorpal" was coined by my also insane elder brother, Lewis Carroll. I confess, I had no idea! Seriously, tomorrow I'm going to start a thread to recognize all of the wonderous contributions to art and liturature made by those of us who walk the edge of madness. I think many fail to appreciate this aspect of things; most view madness as a thing of all trouble and no worth...

In any case, just a little while later, I also remarked to my ex that I'd like to face the Headless Horseman in battle.. After which I immediately said, "Er, wait a minute... I'd guess he is a Revenant, and I don't know how to stop a Revenant. He'd almost certainly kill me..." Once again, my ex asked me what a "Revenant" is, and I told her to Wikipedia it. And once again, I did so myself, just out of curiousity. And, holy crap, I'll not be damned if the "Headless Horseman" is the very first example listed in the examples section.

Good fortune,

- Icarus knows his undead...

I confess the loneliness is driving me nuts.

I confess that I tend to get really pissed off when I hear other people complain about their problems or talk about taking medication to feel better and s**t like that.
I have yet to hear somebody complain who I should feel sorry for, because the problems I hear people complain about always seems so trivial and lame compared to mine.

I confess... I tend to get "really pissed off" when one human thinks that her/his own whining and problems are any less "lame" or "trivial" than those of other humans... THEY'RE ALL LAME AND TRIVIAL. Such reminds me of human arrogance, selfishness, and so forth... Which is a pitiable mistake that I constantly see feeble-minded humans making. Sad things, really, humans. Makes me feel... sorry... for such unfortunate creatures.

Good fortune,

- Icaurs holds the key to your gate, and many more... human.

I confess that you don't know what the hell my problems are, and if you read what I said, you would notice that I was only talking about everybody I hear complaining, not everyone in the world. I don't hear starving kids in Africa complaining about their problems, I only hear people who don't seem to have it that bad compared to me, so I get pissed off.
I don't complaining about your annoying page long posts, so what got your panties in a twist enough to b***h at me? My post wasn't directed at anybody, I thought this would be one thread where everyone wasn't judging each other!

You were complaining about other people complaining. And now you're complaining about someone disagreeing. You do realize this, right? Seems pretty trivial to me in comparison to the starving kids in Africa, but then hey, maybe it's not. (And really, unless you live in Africa with said starving kids, I don't think you're going to be able to hear them complain much anyway, regardless of whether or not they would. Somehow, I don't think they have internet access.)

I confess that it annoys me when others judge who has the right to complain and who doesn't. There are exceptionally few people who understand what one particular person is going through, and people have different levels of feeling and thought; it's impossible to know who has it "worse" in a lot of cases. There are many people whom you should feel sorry for; you inability to be sympathetic does not make their problems anymore trivial than yours.

I confess that I really don't get why people put the effort into disliking Icarus's longer posts; really, it's not that hard to scroll down. They're at very least interesting to read, but if you're unable to read a page of writing, then whatever; once again, just scroll down. By no means will the WP server explode if he writes longer posts than most.