Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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huge pain in the ass trying to pick up my mom from work today. gate i usually go through has been nonfunctional this last week, i apparently was supposed to go through the other one, but she doesn't decide to tell me that until i've already been waiting for her at the nonfunctional gate, trying my damned best to open it for over half an hour, on an empty stomach as i hadn't eaten anything all day and the sun was due to set soon.

Loneliness.

I learned that I'm terrible at debating politics online, and that I should probably stay out of it. :U

It took me most of the night to fall asleep because I couldn't stop thinking that the planet was going to be nuked, or already had been and I just didn't know it yet because it happened on the other side of the world and it was only a matter of time before the radiation reached us over here, and we'd all die a slow and horrible death, and the slightest sound or light would give me a jolt. Of course, that could happen at any time, but at night when you're trying to sleep there are less things to distract you from your fears. I've been having this problem for quite a while now because of you-know-who being you-know-what. And then when I finally did fall asleep I had a disturbing and somewhat disgusting dream, which started with it being a nice warm sunny day, I was at my parent's house, and I went down to the beach nearby for a swim. But then I see several women throwing up in the water! And then later I see lots of other people throwing up because there's a really vicious and extremely contagious stomach virus epidemic and I'm emetophobic and very anxious although I'm the only person who doesn't get sick. I've had similar dreams before, and I've read somewhere that when you see other people vomit in your dreams it's like some "cleansing" thing. As in I think other people are full of nasty, evil traits and feel they need to be purged, but not me cuz I'm perfect. Yeah right. I think it's really because I'm so afraid of this happening in real life. And radiation poisoning does this while horribly killing you.

My team went down 3-0. I am LIVID!

First of all, I am the only person who failed dance class and I have no idea why because I thought I was doing pretty good and during the classes I never heard that I was doing bad or could be doing better.

We also had a discussion about a personal development plan for college in small groups and I mentioned how I felt left out of the class. I discussed this with my homeroom teacher and guidance counselors a few times and this would be a good moment to bring it up.
It didn't go as planned, the teacher didn't explain it exactly as I wanted to and it was "solved" a bit too quick as most of it just sounded like insecurity to the teachers which I do believe because the problem comes from my point of view and not the other people. And I did get the "Of course we care about you" answer that I honestly already expected.
I know that the class cares about me and things I am part of the class, but I haven't felt it because the class never communicates or pairs up with me and when they do it feels more like they feel sad for me for being alone.
And we did not get to the part where it keeps me up at night because I forgot about it unfortunately.

I am starting to notice that the teachers at my college are having a hard time about understanding autism, mostly because my feedback were autism related such as that I should put more effort in reading other people's emotions and doing more without thinking about it first. This is important, especially for a Performing Arts student but I need help for that. My college would hire a special guidance counselor in the area of autism but I had to show the official documents with to college that didn't deliver in time. Of course I am really happy with the guidance counselor that I have but everyone at my college has a hard time helping me when it comes to autism related problems, they try their best to help me out though.

Today was not a great day and when I came home I burst into tears three times

Lunch was an hour later than it should have been.

Fell asleep this afternoon,

I had a very big meltdown. Biggest meltdown I have had in a long time.

big hugs to Caesar and Lillikoi

i've been pulled unwillingly into yet another conversation by my father...the kind about my "future", what my plans are for uni, crap like that.

those kinds of conversations usually just end in shouting matches no matter what, so i usually just avoid going there. dunno why i let myself get sucked in today.

i might have been able to cut it off more gracefully, had i not been focused on studying hebrew when he called me. i really wanted to finish the unit and i detested being distracted again. i distract myself enough already.

the answer, was, i don't want to commit myself to something i don't know i like or not. but of course, i came up with that later, after i had already returned to studying and i was bitter...not when i was with him and could have actually told him.

Yesterday evening i had a meltdown but not super badly. Im still feeling effects from it today though. Sucks

Issues with new bank… Only been with them for a few months. My card is getting declined (plenty of money to cover). So, I did online chat and the girl kept giving me unrelated automated responses. I call and the rep blames me and/or merchant. I kept saying that’s not the case, I am getting declined with other merchants. She comes back to say I have a $100 daily spend limit! Umm, what? What good does that do me, when most basic bills well exceed that limit. When I set this up, it was only for ATM withdraws; according the rep I should have known and she can’t help any further.

EDIT: Oh, but I can pay all I want with checking and routing number… I don’t exactly enjoy giving that info out, it’s a security risk.

EDIT 2: I was going to order a nice backpack for school, that was 50% off… It was perfect considering I wanted to ride my bike to school. It had a separate compartment for shoes, so I can have cycling and normal walking shoes… It would have put me over the stupid spending limit; doesn’t matter because once it was sorted out the sale was gone.

I was walking home from the store this afternoon when a teenager screamed an obscenity at me from his car as he went down the street. Filthy snot-nosed coward.

I hate to say it, but there are *reasons* why young people are discriminated against.

I wanted to rejuvenate an old fountain in my backyard that hasn't been running for years but when I started separating the segments they all crumbled to pieces.