How many people feel having children is not worth it?

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My kid was planned so does it still make me stupid and selfish for wanting one?

& we all know how great that turned out; NOT




I was probably much more noisy & loud than most kids my age. My parents say I cried all night long & most every time we went somewhere I threw a tantrum. An inroverted kid will stay home more so that means more noise inside & less alone time. I did not even like kids when I was a kid




Lots of the kids would probably be worse off if they were put in orphanages/foster-care. People should be smart enough to use protection if they don't want a kid. There's more than a few options out there.

I myself do not wish to have children (who knows though, I may change my mind), but I completely, 100% support those who do.

Stupid, no. But the fact you chose to make a child of your own instead of adopting an existing one does make you selfish.

That's not to say my position isn't a selfish one. I choose not to raise any children, my own (which I will try to avoid) or adopted ones.

First off I'm a 24 year old guy with AS who has never even had a girlfriend and I don't know if I will ever, but I want too. Secondly I don't really know if I even like children that much. I know that sounds cruel but again I have AS, I get scared and nervous about everything. But at some point in my life I've wondered what it would be like to be a father. I love my family but sometimes when I'm doing the stuff I like I feel like I only care for myself. But if my "future wife" gave birth to a baby boy or girl I would probably fall in love at first sight. To me that is either never going to happen or it is a long long long long time away. But for now having children is a big no no.

I can see the appeal, and have occasionally thought that I might like one (more in an idle curiosity at something that will never happen than actually thinking "I should have one of these"). However, I'm inclined to agree that it would not be worth it. I'd be willing to take it under consideration it if I was in a committed, loving relationship with a man who really wanted one, but otherwise I think I'm content not to reproduce.

Anyway, I figure there's no sense worrying about it as this man is purely hypothetical. One step at a time and all that.

I'm kind of surprised that some women here do not want kids. Lots of women on the dating sites I've used wanted kids. After a couple messages they start planning kids out & when I tell em I don't really want a kid; I turn into a horrible person. Even women on other forums who aren't looking for a partner seem to have a desperate need to have a kid

Last edited by nick007 on 07 Oct 2010, 6:14 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I guess it'd be fun.

The vast majority of women (and most men, in fact) do want kids. Any woman who says she doesn't want kids tends to get looked at like she's a leper. It is assumed that there is either something wrong with her or that she will change her mind.

I thought most guys didn't plan on having kids till after they got married. Lots of single mom's have problems finding guys because they have a kid but single dad's seem to attract more women than guys who don't have kids. Having a kid is a major responsibility & should be the #1 priority for both parents but unfortunately most parents don't care much for the kids after they have em. My mom teaches pre-K & most of the kids in her class have horrible parents. Every week the kids are staying with different relatives & the parents want the kid to get diagnosed as having behavior problems so they can get bigger gov checks & so the kid can get free meds that the parents never give to em because the parents take em or sell em. Lots of women may think I'm a horrible monster because I don't want kids but I think most people who feel they need to have em are probably to f#cked up to do a good job raising em

I don't want kids. I can't picture myself being a parent, and I'm not very good with kids anyway.

Kids are retardedly expensive and wouldn't enrich my life in any way.

One word: Overpopulation.

people seriously need to reproduce less.

I think traditionally it was cheaper and more productive to have kids. My grandparents are a good example because they are from Vietnam and very old school. They had 11 kids, the kids worked on the land and helped and my aunts/uncles (some of them) now help support them financially during their retirement years. Kids nowadays expect lots of expensive activities (Disneyland went up to about $75 per adult and 60 something per child) and toys such as $4 for silly bandz (12 rubber bands shaped as animals, etc.). Nowadays you will end up spending most of your times either going along with the trends bombarded at kids (they are a huge market) or fighting against it. The worst part is after all this, maybe a car to help them get to work/school they are very unlikely to return the favor and will probably end up hating you. Doesn't seem worth it to me. Everyone wants to believe they can raise their kids so they won't want all these things but with the world of marketing running wild on channels such as nickelodeon and disney channel, parents don't stand a chance. You don't know how many times I've had to tell my niece no after she saw something on tv and wanted it. I tell her she wants it and doesn't need it.

(In this country at least) adoption is hard: You're on a list for a long time, it can take several years, and the process is expensive, at least 22 000 GBP/ 36 666 USD, and that's even before you actually get your kid.

It takes 9 months for a woman to have a kid herself & she has to pay for doc & hospital bills ect so I don't think it would be that much more expensive or complicated to adopt. The problem with adoption is most people want to adopt babies. If I was going to adopt; I would prefer an older kid instead of a baby. I can talk to older kids some & I kind of do feel like a parent with em sometimes witch is kind of scary This may sound hypocritical to something I said earlier here but I think a lot of people who don't want kids & think that they would be bad parents; might would feel differently when they get older & end up getting close to some kids. Personally thou I would rather have a girl-friend/wife who's very immature or something & kind of like a kid herself instead of having a kid with a woman who's mature & independent. Then I'd have one person who I could probably better relate to instead of two people who I can semi-relate to; I'd also have a better chance of finding a woman that way to