Got called "heartless" at the mall today

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It's a joke. The irony being that a homeless person doesn't have the facility to receive credit/debit card payments.

Years ago, when approached by panhandlers, I would offer to buy them food instead of giving them money. A few would take the food, but most would get indignant and refuse. But then something happened that caused me to have nothing to do with any of these people anymore.

My ex-husband and I were in downtown Salt Lake City and I was approached by this really weird-looking guy in long white robes. He had some kind of religious schtick but basically he was panhandling. He absolutely gave me the creeps. I swear the air around him was cold and dead, and it was summertime. I just wanted to run from him.

Fast forward a couple of years. We were watching the national news one night and suddenly this very same guy was in one of the stories. I recognized him immediately ... that cold, empty expression and dead eyes. He gave me cold shivers up my spine.

It was the guy who kidnapped Elizabeth Smart.

I now have nothing to do with panhandlers.

There was one guy at the last WP Southeast QLD meet who came up to our table and tried to sell us pencils for $5. When we all umm'd and ahh'd for a while before saying no and he muttered some short diatribe about discrimination and walked away. We shoulda given him a steak sanga!

There's also this lady who hangs around the CBD in my town asking for money. Sad that I know her horrible life story as she's an old church friend of my mothers, but I'm still not willing to give her money for her next pack of cigarettes or bottle of wine (wouldn't have a clue where she buys them though, she's been banned from most supermarkets and shopping centres in town due to petty theft).

I know it's hard, but you shouldn't take such abuse personally. People who are this aggressive for hand-outs are people with an agenda. It's been well exposed that these types of beggers and panhandlers usually are looking for money for drugs or alcohol, and it's that need to sate their addiction that can make them more aggressive. Other times it's just people who have been calloused from living on the streets, and figured out if they are pushy and obnoxious, people give them money just to make them go away.

But you shouldn't feel bad about not giving into this abuse. And that's what it is--abuse. So giving them money isn't charity--it's rewarding someone for abusing you. If you want to sate your conscience about this, donate some mney to yoru local food bank. That way you know the money well really go to someone who needs food and not some addict's playing on your sympathies just so they get their next fix.

Just keep in mind that crass people like these don't see you as another human being, but as a "mark" or some easy target they can sucker or bully to get what they want. She probably zeroed in on you because of your body language or that you were a woman with a man, so she may have thought you'd be more submissive and more easily manipulated. I take it she didn't ask your husband, right? She was trying to play you. It's a good thing you didn't give into her game.

Should have worn one of these:

Last edited by Asp-Z on 22 Nov 2010, 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think it is but it is illegal to panhandle I believe. There are loopholes people do here like "need money for shelter" they aren't really breaking any laws by doing that because their home is their shelter. But they pretend to be homeless and all and they beg for money and have that sign and people give it to them and they make hundreds of dollars everyday and live in nice houses. This gives me a reason to not give out money. But sadly it makes it harder for the actual homeless to get money but we have homeless people here who make their own money by digging in trash cans and collecting pop cans and bottles to take to Winco Foods or Fred Meyers and they give you money for it. They use it for food or bus fare.

I wouldn't assume the lady was homeless, she was dressed clean and looked clean and didn't look homeless. I don't know why she was asking.

I can remember my mom telling me a story about when she was at work, there was another worker who was talking and she mentioned how this one homeless person would stand right by the bridge where the free way entrance is and be holding up a sign asking for money. One day she followed him and she saw him going to his car and it was a nice looking car and she saw him taking off his clothes and he had on nice clothes and he got in and left. She said she would never give out money to a homeless person again.


My husband told me this story how he was on the train going home from work because he was off that day and didn't know it so he was going back home. He had his sandwich with him he made for work and it was a nice sandwich he made. This one young man asks him for change so he can get food and my husband offers him his sandwich. The man didn't take it. My husband figured it was either he wanted money for other things and it wasn't for food or he just didn't trust him because how does he know he didn't do something to his sandwich. I said then I guess that's why people don't take food from strangers when ask for change and they only want money, no food. They would rather buy it themselves. That would be the last time I would assume someone doesn't want money for food when you offer them food. Try offering buying them food. No way you can do something to their food when they order it and it's served to them and you pay for it. Or hand them a gift card you have for Subway or McDonalds or Safeway or something. If they are so hungry, they'd take it and hope the card has money on it.

I remember at my old job here, my assistant supervisor was talking and he mentioned how he saw this homeless person holding a sign and then when no one be looking, he take out something and smoke it and then hide it and keep begging and then he reach into his coat again and smoke it and then put it away and go back to begging. He said he would never help a homeless person again after seeing that. He said if he can afford drugs, then that is what the money was probably for than what he was saying he needed it for.

Then on the train last year when I was going to work while I was in training, there was this man on the train crying asking for a dollar seventy five. I didn't have that money, if I did, I might have given it to him. But no one said they had it so he got louder and louder and he said he needed a dollar seventy five for food and I thought no food costs that low unless he needs that much so he has enough for food and he just doesn't have enough to buy himself some food. Or he just doesn't want to ask for a lot and he will ask for that little and then ask for more from other people so it all adds up to enough. Well he got more and more obnoxious because no one would give him money so he finally threatened to kill himself if he doesn't eat and that got a reaction out of us. I thought he was pathetic for threatening suicide and he got screamed at by a young woman who was sitting diagonal from me and this teen girl sitting across from me gave him money finally and he shut up. The woman told him he doesn't want food he wants drugs and asked if he is homeless and starting calling him homeless. The man was back to normal after he got what he wanted and he never got off the train. When we got to the airport, he never went inside to eat. It was late at night so most places be closed but he can stop at a Seven Eleven for food since they are open 24/7 and I figured the whole thing was an act or else he would have gotten off the train and look for something to eat or went inside the airport to get something or maybe he was saving that money to eat the next day when places open again. Instead he was hanging out in the smoking area with few other guys and I think he was with them because they were all hanging out and visiting. I thought if he is so hungry, why is he not going inside to eat?

When I was a little kid seeing people begging for money made me very sad, and even sadder if I did not give money to these people. Now I'm older I realize some of these people are fueling drug habits but I never knew people would do this who are already well-to-do.