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THIS is why I don't have friends

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League_Girl
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31 Jan 2011, 10:21 pm

What I have learned as an adult is talking to someone in PM does not make them your friend.

At age 17 I had learned what a friend is and that talking to people at school doesn't make them your friend. Now I question it whenever I see an aspie saying they have tons of friends. How do I know they aren't just acquantences? It's common in aspies to mistake acquantences as friends.

I still mistake someone as my friend just because we have talked in IM a few times or in PM or chatted on Facebook. I consider everyone in real life my acquantence but I am not sure if my own friend is an acquantence. We don't even hang out nor do we do stuff. We see each other every now and then. We both just suck at keeping in touch or doing stuff together lol.


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dunbots
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31 Jan 2011, 10:31 pm

Well I never said I was an authority on the subject, I was just stating my opinion, calm down.



Ahaseurus2000
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01 Feb 2011, 4:30 am

I find it depends on who you speak to, especially their maturity.

Generally, just say you'd like to catch up or meet again. Talk about it, what each of you would like to do. make plans. with certain people (e.g. you're a man and they're a woman), you can say "as friends" to indicate you are not looking for anything more, if you desire that. It's useful to say if they seem to think you want a relationship.

I find that people who feel weird when you say you "want a friendship" or want to do something "as friends", have had fake-friends, had a relationship with a friend, or have found people who say they want to be friends to be odd or harmful.

Showing you want friendship, with NTs, is not in saying you want one, but in your actions, behaviour that shows you're sociable and friendly.


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Wombat
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01 Feb 2011, 8:51 am

Guys don't ask other guys to be their friend. That will weird them out.

Guys "just know" that they are on the same wavelength and want to "hang out together"

When I was a kid there were "tryhard" kids who wanted to be friends. All they managed to do was creep people out.

I am sure that they didn't know that the harder they tried the weirder they looked.