I sometimes wish I could really play guitar, well, instead of just throwing a bunch of excersize chops together and making a bunch of noise. If an average person heard me, they would think there was a great guitar player warming up, but really all I can do is warm up.
I use so much concentration to make my fingers move the right ways, I lose track of the other musicians. When I was a kid it was no big deal, because we fed off of each other, but when everyone else improved I only kept up so far.
My interest in the other electronic gear took over at an early age and I moved off stage to the house mix, where I excelled, but I really wanted to play, too.
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It's just music for me. The other stims don't work.