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Teenage girls and their rosy visions of family life...

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Tequila
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29 Dec 2011, 3:45 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I never wanted to get married until I was proposed to.


I'm not getting married.

Asp-Z wrote:
When I was 14 years old, my girlfriend of the same age was all on about how she wanted to get married and start a family with me after we'd been going out for a few months 8O


And women say that they aren't nuts! :wink: :roll:



Asp-Z
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29 Dec 2011, 3:50 pm

Tequila wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
I never wanted to get married until I was proposed to.


I'm not getting married.


Same here, it's the smart thing to do really :P

Tequila wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
When I was 14 years old, my girlfriend of the same age was all on about how she wanted to get married and start a family with me after we'd been going out for a few months 8O


And women say that they aren't nuts! :wink: :roll:


Yeah, I was just like...

Image



Tequila
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29 Dec 2011, 3:54 pm

Asp-Z wrote:
Same here, it's the smart thing to do really :P


My neighbour has been a bachelor all his life. I never hear him complaining about it. In fact, I never hear him complain about anything, so perhaps that's moot.



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29 Dec 2011, 3:58 pm

Tequila wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Same here, it's the smart thing to do really :P


My neighbour has been a bachelor all his life. I never hear him complaining about it. In fact, I never hear him complain about anything, so perhaps that's moot.


Probably because, without a wife, there's nothing to complain about :wink:



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29 Dec 2011, 5:12 pm

~shrug~

Marriage and family have always been the most important things in life, for me, from the time I was very young- toddler-aged.
If I had been with the right person at the time, I would have already been on that path at 18.
Most people where I'm from get married at around that age, and start families soon after, and the vast majority are still together five, ten, and 50 years later.

I don't see why different people having different dreams is so upsetting. :?

I've never been interested nor capable in much by way of a career, apart from homemaking and taking care of people-
that to me is the most important and fulfilling thing I could possibly do.


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readingbetweenlines
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29 Dec 2011, 6:03 pm

Tequila wrote:
readingbetweenlines wrote:
Here in Old Blighty getting pregnant is the way to get near the top of the social housing priority list.

Plus it gives young women who have very little by way of an identity a role, that of "mother".

Often with only the vaguest idea of what looking after a baby involves. I'm not saying teenage motherhood is always and in all cases a bad thing. It depends on the support network they have, and whether they are letting it derail any plans for education and a working life.


This is very true and it also goes some way towards explaining why the UK has some of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe. Take that incentive away and make them responsible and I'll bet a meal in a decent restaurant that teenage pregnancies will fall in response.


I agree in principle Tequila although it's probably more complicated than taking benefits away from lone teenage mothers. I understand why the benefits system tries to break the cycle by at least ensuring the resulting babies don't grow up in total deprivation.

The problem is that there a now often 3 generations of benefits recipients under one roof, receiving benefits to the tune of my monthly wages. It takes almost superhuman effort for a young person to turn their backs on that kind of lifestyle.


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babybird
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29 Dec 2011, 8:46 pm

Well my babies nearly 20 and I'm not a Granny yet so either I must be doing something right or she must be. But I know what you mean though, it seems that everybody's in a rush these days. I suppose it's the world we're living in.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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29 Dec 2011, 8:54 pm

babybird wrote:
Well my babies nearly 20 and I'm not a Granny yet so either I must be doing something right or she must be. But I know what you mean though, it seems that everybody's in a rush these days. I suppose it's the world we're living in.


I didn't have my first child until I was 23 years old, and most of the people I know are the same or haven't had children yet and are even older than me.

I get that teen pregnancy is an issue, but I honestly don't think it's as big an issue as people make it out to be (excluding specific areas) On average, women are having children much later in life than any other point in history.


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Tequila
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29 Dec 2011, 9:13 pm

readingbetweenlines wrote:
I understand why the benefits system tries to break the cycle by at least ensuring the resulting babies don't grow up in total deprivation.


Just because the State gives the parents money doesn't necessarily mean that the parents will do best for their baby though.

A lot of people really shouldn't be having children in the first place.



ValentineWiggin
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29 Dec 2011, 9:20 pm

We're falsely-equivocating romanticization of marriage/children with immaturity and an inability to cope with/care for those things.


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29 Dec 2011, 9:24 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
We're falsely-equivocating romanticization of marriage/children with immaturity and an inability to cope with/care for those things.

Perhaps ... although there does appear to be a strong correlation between romanticism, immaturity, and lack of coping skills ...



Tequila
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29 Dec 2011, 9:24 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
We're falsely-equivocating romanticization of marriage/children with immaturity and an inability to cope with/care for those things.


Not necessarily, although often the two can be linked in Britain. Nothing wrong with children or marriage if you have the resources to care for them. :)



TeaEarlGreyHot
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29 Dec 2011, 9:24 pm

ValentineWiggin wrote:
We're falsely-equivocating romanticization of marriage/children with immaturity and an inability to cope with/care for those things.


True.


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29 Dec 2011, 9:29 pm

[derail]

TEGH, you come up with the most poetically beautiful avatars I have ever seen!

[/derail]



TeaEarlGreyHot
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29 Dec 2011, 9:31 pm

Thank you, Fnord. ^_^


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ValentineWiggin
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29 Dec 2011, 10:05 pm

Fnord wrote:
TEGH, you come up with the most poetically beautiful avatars I have ever seen!


I'm always admiring 'em.


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