Serves you right for staring at me, you t**t!

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Ones from First.

Huh?

Here the buses stop at any bus stop where there is a person waiting. Unless the person just shakes their head at them or waves their hand at them to keep moving. Only time they don't stop is if they got behind in schedule because they got stuck in traffic or struck behind a train or an accident and there is another bus not too far behind them. They only let people off and are shouting at the riders if anyone is getting off here or there because they have to get off their bus route to get back on schedule.

Yeah, reading your post made me feel better after having just been stared at in the grocery line. Me, I prefer the F-word. It has a use for almost every situation.

First Group, which operates First Bus is a transport company. Based in Aberdeen, I believe. It has some rail franchises too.

How confusing about the US/UK differences with getting buses to stop!

I'm glad they don't do that here. Maybe I'd get used to it but I might be too shy to flag down a bus.

She was staring at me, because at first she was facing the other way, then about 2 seconds after I joined her, she turned round and was just staring for ages, with her back to the bit where the bus was going to come from, and yes they do sail past sometimes. That's why you can't really stand there staring at people when you got a bus to catch. She has all day to intimidate people, why do it before she even gets on a bus?

If only people realised how standing there staring at me makes me feel. And NTs have empathy.....?

Classic!

If she's staring at you and you believe she is doing it on purpose, then she is in the wrong. You have every right to say to her "Can I help you?" She will either say "Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something" or "You look so familiar.... do you work at <place>?" (or wherever she thinks she knows you from) or she will just turn away. 99 tmes out of 100, if you say "Can I help you?" in a polite tone of voice, the person will realize they are being rude and offer an explination or just turn away. The one time out of 100 it may be a crazy person who may start arguing, and in that case just wave a hand in a dismissive manner, turn away and ignore them. I know it can seem like a big issue or big deal to you right now, but with time and experience you will come to understand that it's not a big deal and that other people don't dwell on it or think twice about it.

Your social phobia is causing unimportant things to ruin your day and cause you undue anxiety. That is not your fault. Phobias are phobias and the definition of phobia is an irrational fear of something. Fear doesn't always mean that you are afraid per se, it can mean that you get a lot of anxiety from it. I had agoraphobia for several years that ruined every day and every moment for me. I had social phobia as a child and adolescent and young teen, and it ruined everything. I didn't have a name for my social phobia (stemming from AS), but I had two or three friends as a young teen who pushed me, and a very strong desire and determination to be like them and not "so wierd" like me, so that helped me with mine and I got completely over it within a few years. My agoraphobia took several therapists, a hospitalization, lots of different drugs and finally the right drug to get over, but it's gone completely now too. I wanted to give up on it many times, but I kept on trying until I found the right things. I'd strongly suggest that you get some professional help for your social phobia. It takes persistance and the willingness to endure being uncomfortable, but it is possible to overcome. I hate to see you getting so worked up over unimportant things, and I hate seeing you feel that those things are so important. It's a huge obstacle to happiness and self confidence. Please, talk to your parents and find a therapist for this. Explain it to the therapist and tell them what you want to accomplish. It really can help. You seem too nice to have to go through life worrying about this kind of stuff, and once you are able to start making progess with it, you will feel so good about yourself that your progress will snowball, and eventually you will look back and think "I was worried about that?" It's really worth the effort to do, and I'd like to see you happy and confident.

It might mean a lot of walking! But as it's the norm you'd probably get used to it.

But the real killer is this - the buses have numbers and to wave down the right bus you have to keep your eyes peeled like mad and if they look similar from a distance, like 31 and 81, it can be really tricky.

One doesn't want to flag down the wrong number as the driver mightn't be too happy to have to stop and then no one gets on. My hope is always that someone else will get on & then the poor guy hasn't had to stop for nothing. It's a minefield, I'm telling you!

I thought Aspies didn't stare. I can't stare. Eye contact panics me on a regular basis. Mind you, neither of us can speak for all Aspies.

It actually does serve her right, because she knows better than to stare at someone when she's waiting for her bus. She missed her bus, because she was staring.