Tell a Joke

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It reminds me of a joke kids used to say in school.

How do Chineese people name their kids?

They throw a quarter down the stairs and hear Ching, Chang, Chong.

I like it, getting more into my kind of humor.

I think this clip covers it http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi4265476121/

What's the difference between OJ and Batman?





Batman can go to Las Vegas without Robin..

I know, lame.

OJ Simpson and Michael Jackson are running down the street, trying to get away from the police.

A group of kids spot them and start calling out to them, asking for autographs.

Michael says, "Look, a bunch of kids are calling to us."
OJ , desperate to avoid the police, says, "Screw the kids!"
Michael replies, "...Do you think we have time?"

well i am not able to understand well the dynamics of joke construction, but i tend to consider "absurdness" of conclusions derived from inaccurate but otherwise plausible interpretations to be the most humorous aspects of jokes (if i understand them).

i thought this thread was asking us to make up jokes to post, and not just post jokes that we are aware of, and when i read some of the jokes, i was very surprised at the sophistication of them, so i googled them to find if they are original, and i found they are not.

so i hope this thread is not a "post your favorite joke" thread, but i hope it it is a "post a joke you made up" thread.

with that in mind i will say that i have tried to think of jokes, but i always fail to be able to.

here is a crude joke that I compiled considering the rules i had gleaned from reverse engineering of other jokes i had heard in the past.

Q: what is the similarity between having just enough therapods and riding a horse?
A: you have no spare tyre (US="tire") an' a sore arse. (no spare tyrannosaurus).

jannisy liked a joke i made up in the "make up an asperger joke" thread but i forget exactly how it goes.

it is ludicrous to dial directory assistance to ask them the number of "directory assistance"

me: (after dialing for directory assistance) hello i need to know the number for "directory assistance"

operator: this is "directory assistance."
me:yes i know that, and that is why i called you to find out what the number is.

operator: but this IS directory assistance.
me: so then please give me the number for "directory assistance" thanks.

operator: but you are already talking "directory assistance"..
me: i know!! so please give the number or else tell me why you are p**** footing around?!?!

operator: sorry sir. you do not seem to understand. this IS "directory assistance"
me: and yet you can not even tell me your own telephone number. that is preposterous.

operator: but you must have already known it before you rang!!
me: obviously i did, (otherwise i would have dialed a wrong number). and i just wanted to know the number to call for directory assistance

operator: this IS directory assistance!! !
me: so why then can you not tell me what the number for "directory assistance" is?!?!?

operator: because you are talking right now to "directory assistance"
me: so the only reason i can never know what "directory assistance"'s number is is because i consulted "directory assistance" to find out?

operator:NO! i am saying that you are already talking to "directory assistance" ! !

me: so then for goodness sake, what is the number for directory assistance?!?!.
operator: sorry sir! you are already talking to directory assistance....

bit if there is the allowance in this thread to post external stuff, then i consider this man to be very funny.




this fellow provides me with entertainment


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoVhOLvh9kc[/youtube]

Some of these are kind of rude, but they are funny.


Two guys walk into a bar, then they say "ow"

A guy walks into a bar, and he's an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

A man and a pig walk into the.... I forget the rest but in the end, your mom's a slut

i think i understand that. i think your use of the word "bar" means a solid object that is made of steel. heh



i can not determine the "punch line" of that joke.

i am currently trying to make up a joke........................


ok. this is probably lame but

Q: why did the optometrist reduce the magnification specification of a new set of glasses they prescribed for you?

A: because their bill is so large that you can not read it without reduced magnification.

i am tired and whatever.
'night.

why did the chicken "cross" the road?.

which specific chicken, and what road? without that data, there can be no calculated reason.

Ah, yes, Family Guy. Your brand of humor?

...P.S.: Your vagina's in the sink!

Jacko would have always made time for the kiddos

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoIdS8e2GEE[/youtube]

How I love that game.

What did the toilet paper say when the toilet was flushed?
''I knew I'll go down the pan!''

What goes up but never comes down?
Bills.

How do you get Pikachu on to a bus?
Poke 'im on!

How do spiders look for jobs?
On the web.
How do fish look for jobs?
On the net.

Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food."