Where do your personnal monsters live ?

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My personal monsters are part of me in my mind. The problems I have/had in my life do my different disabilities & lack of awareness & the "mistakes" I've made in my life. It causes me to be dependent & kind of a burden on others because I kind of avoid doing things or trying things I should be able to do because I don't want to take a chance of screwing up & making things worse. I'm getting better at fighting these monsters but I have my girlfriend by my side to help; I would avoid them if I didn't

I do on occasion revisit the corridors of old schools or workplaces in dreams, and relive the old anxieties and politics, or more pleasantly, old friendships.

I always thought the monsters mostly originated from the movies I watched from a kid on up. And maybe part is due to having a over-active imagination. Monster, Sci-Fi and War films has always been my staple. I have never gone in for the really gory horror films, in part, because I didn't want them added to my minds play list.

The monsters are more varied then I at first imagined. The seeing oneself or ones condition partially in that light was completely unexpected on my part. It sounds however like you have found your Yoda (but taller and better looking). Your even in a swamp.

I can't imagine what a monster-free exsistance is like. Would you like to have some imaginary monsters ?




Ah OK, I was there for a little while. But for me it was Ants. I saw a sci-fi-ish movie about army ants attacking a plantation in South America when I was around 7 yrs old, and a few people got eaten. It scared me silly. For about a week I couldn't get to sleep normally because every speck or tiny shadow was an ant coming for me. Btw I recently found an old movie I remembered vaguely from a bit later in childhood. It was about wasps that were exposed to radiation in a scientific rocket experiment gone wrong. They ended up somewhere in Africa and grew to Mothra size. The movie was called Monsters from the Green Hell and is pretty terrible B-grade stuff. I got over my ant-fear pretty quick because I became facsinated by them and still am to this day. I had maybe a closer to yours fear of bees fo a while and it went away when I thought about it in terms of being in a boxing match with them. Thinking that way made me realize what a weight and reach advantage I had over any bee. So the first to buzz me got a sharp backhand, which stunned but did not hurt. After doing that a few times and seeing how ridiculus it was to run from a bee (which I had done more then once), I got to where I could ignor them. Wasps are actually a lot less agressive and I have had lots drift idley by but none were ever agressive. The only time you have to be careful is if you accidently get very close to a nest. If that happens, its best to make tracks. The deeper hum of many bees still gives me the willies sometimes. In general the best way to get over any fear is a slow planned exposure to it. In your case you might read up on them for starters. Familiarity breeds contempt. But knowing the place in the ecosystem these bugs have can also help. Certain species of wasps many useful purposes, like being one of the only (maybe the only) predators of gypsy moths. Ants are descended from wasps btw.

On the page.

I never heard the sleep in trees/sleep on ground theory before, but it is kind of interesting. What came to mind immediately was that even at a early stage women had men well under control. 'No. You stay down there and get eaten by the Lion'. But I wonder which was more of a threat to the women, the Lions or the beasts below.

At some point I had to go to having some sort of light at night as well. But it was because of a recurring nightmare that I was trapped in a collasped building, which would cause me to actually leave the bed trying to escape. Dressers became ledges, and the floor a chasm, and I trashed the room a few times trying to move along the ledges in the darkness.

The open window or door is a fairly specific location, and a logical source of real as well as imaginary dangers. One of my nightly routines is to close and lock all the doors and windows, before turning in. Then I curl up on the ground outside the front door.



Wow, that is even more specific I can relate a little because of a childhood incident involving a pipe that seriously freaked me out for a while. But I am uncharacteristically using my head here, and will not talk about it.

While thinking on Drain Monsters, a sort of symbolic ritual purging came to mind. One thing I do to periodically clean drains is shake a bunch of baking soda into them, and then pour in Vinegar. It's a legit and bio-friendly method that also has a satisfying explosive bubbly effect. I wonder if imagining that it produces Thiomide-42 Gas as a byproduct (harmless to humans - lethal to Drain Monsters) would do anything ? Probably not, but it does definately freshen up the drains.