Bummer ...

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They see objective thinking as criticism. It's not going to go down well.

This is what I was told. by someone that didn't see my point too.

After you've determined how you'd want to be treated, you take that as a baseline and then adjust the following variables:

- Substitute their background - aka what you know about them - for your own.

- Substitute their personality - see above - for your own and calculatehow this is logically going to impact the results.

- Check your own emotional state as it will pollute the outcome of this exercise with bias if you do not factor it in or put yourself in neutral first

- Take into account what kind of bond you share with said individual and how that would impact what they'd be comfortable hearing from you, sharing with you and are likely to hide from you due to privacy concerns - and respect those boundaries!

To which I said, it would feel like I would fake trying to be one of them. So I got this reply.

It basically requires you to be able to read where you stand with the other person - acquaintance, friend, best friend, colleague - and how good your bond is. At that point you incorporate their own personal traits - private, serious, warm, doesn't mind being vulnerable, etc - to gauge how much you can say and how you can approach them best in expressing your empathy/sympathy towards them.

In essence, the entire process goes from empathy ( aka, how do I feel or step 1 - at least for Fi users), to learning sympathy (aka, realising how this must affect the other person considering who they are and the situation they are in) to merging the two and perfecting the feedback style tailored to that person for optimum connection/communication.

So someone else stepped in and explained it from our perspective.

At least in my own experience. It is more about self-knowledge, than other-knowledge. About being as honest with oneself as one can be, and letting that show to others. The connections with others arise from that self-honesty, which lets others connect with oneself (due to being open and honest), and serves as a quite apt substitution for being truly empathetic/sympathetic with others.

When ISTJ/INTJs are truly empathetic/sympathetic with others, the chemistry tends to break, because our main strength is knowing "what works", but when we're too empathetic, we let the other person go too far, we resist our inclination to say "No, that's stupid" out of love, but the most loving, empathetic thing we could say at the moment truly is, "No, that's stupid." (Granted, there's probably a kinder way of saying it than "that's stupid.")

In the end, the person dishing out advice, came to realise, that we do work differently.

The JFK assassination was solved in the late 1990s.

http://www.acorn.net/jfkplace/09../fp.b ... kthru.html

It was Lyndon Johnson. The most obvious suspect all along.