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What's a good message for a home answering machine?

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richie
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17 Mar 2007, 10:47 am

In my 'gruffest' barroom voice:"Health, Wealth, Happiness, fer God's sakes leave a message!"

Got that one from an episode of "Inspector Morse: Who Killed Harry Field".



Starr
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17 Mar 2007, 10:49 am

richie wrote:
In my 'gruffest' barroom voice:"Health, Wealth, Happiness, fer God's sakes leave a message!"

Got that one from an episode of "Inspector Morse: Who Killed Harry Field".


I remember that episode, it's my husband's favourite (He's an artist, like Harry Field that's probably why) We have it on video.



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17 Mar 2007, 12:46 pm

Here's a good message.

"This is [name] residence. As you might have realized by now, I'm busy. If you got something on your mind, speak up after the beep. If not, simply hang up. Thanks."



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17 Mar 2007, 5:04 pm

There's been so many great, different and often funny proposals here - that there's at least one for each day of the week (assuming none of you will sue for plagiarism or copyright) :D

Awesome!



calandale
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17 Mar 2007, 5:09 pm

Starr wrote:
**** off!.....no, not really :) I just don't like phones very much.


That's why I don't have one. My message would be, "Go away"



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17 Mar 2007, 5:35 pm

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! !! !! !! !! !! They're getting in! Oh, god, they're coming in through the doors, through the windows! They're everywhere! I can't stop them! Save yourself, before it's too late! Oh, god, I've only got one bullet left! I-" This, of course, would be followed by a bang, a crunch, and a slurping sound.



MrMark
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17 Mar 2007, 6:48 pm

Thanks, werbert.


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werbert
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17 Mar 2007, 6:53 pm

MrMark wrote:
Thanks, werbert.

No problem. That's why I'm here.



Sedaka
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17 Mar 2007, 6:53 pm

^^^^^

^_^

ahahahahahaa

what's your number werbert? i gotta hear that one!


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werbert
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17 Mar 2007, 6:58 pm

911, then ask for the police.

But you have to tell them that you are hiding the bodies of seven dead hitchhikers in your attic, or else they won't play the message. :wink:



Tim_Tex
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17 Mar 2007, 7:35 pm

Dee Dee Dee (a la Carlos Mencia)

Tim


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OddCoyote
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17 Mar 2007, 7:40 pm

Oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh! MY father had one like this.

The answering machine plays about 7 seconds of the Pippy Long Stockings theme song and then theres a sound of a gun shot (Blam!) and the persons voice comes on and says, "Im glad thats over, please leave a message after the beep." (Beep)


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17 Mar 2007, 8:34 pm

"You have reached Machine Impossible. This answering machine will self-destruct in 5...4...3..."



calandale
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17 Mar 2007, 8:54 pm

werbert wrote:
911, then ask for the police.

But you have to tell them that you are hiding the bodies of seven dead hitchhikers in your attic, or else they won't play the message. :wink:


I tried, and all I heard was, "hang up emo kid." I wonder when you changed the message.



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18 Mar 2007, 7:30 am

"I'm sorry, the residence of the house is not in, please hold for an annoyingly long amount of time, before you can leave a message. Thank you.

*8 Hours of Elevator Music*

Thank you for holding....2 more holds to go and you'll be able to leave a message.

*16 Hours of Elevator Music (2 holds 8 + 8 = 16)

I'm sorry. After all of this unnessecary holding, you did not get through. Please try again later.

Thank you for calling....Goodbye."



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18 Mar 2007, 7:42 am

"Greetings, peon. Doom has heard your pitiful attempt at communication, but Doom chooses not to answer right now. Leave a message, and perhaps Doom will elect to return your call. Do not be hopeful."


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