"You hit like a girl."

Post Reply New Topic

I got told that in the playground at school. At home, one of my Dad's favourite epithets for me or my brother was "big girl's blouse" whenever we were deemed insufficiently "manly" or "boyish" enough, and I'm sure there are plenty of other examples.

That sounds sexist to me

But what was the speaker's intention?

Was the speaker autistic, schizophrenic, or a young child?

Did the speaker say it in an insulting tone?

Was the speaker a man or woman?

When I was 19 someone had the nerve to tell me that "you are the strongest girl I know"

Ok, wtf?



That made it sound like the speaker conducted a bench press assessment and declared me the winner

The average boy has a higher bench press than the average girl. Fine

But some girls are stronger than some boys

Likewise I hate the word "girl" used for adults

Males get called "guys" starting junior high school

Females get called "girls" til they are pretty old

Sexist terminology

But whatever

New Time: who told you "you hit like a girl"? family member, "friend", acquaintance, enemy? taekwondo instructor?

what were you trying to hit?

it sounds kind of arrogant that the speaker was so full of himself/herself that he/she felt entitled or even obliged to comment/remark on the way you hit.



Onyxaxe

although, it is also granted, that plenty of cisgender females that appear/sound/look/act much older than me, call eachother "girl". on the bus, one cisgender female that looked well over 50 called another one that could've been 70, "girl". so. it is not just cisgender males calling adult cisgender females "girl". "girl" has become slang for "woman", "old woman". and some old cisgender females call themselves "girl".

so i felt intimidated/scared to tell someone that i hate(d) getting called a "girl", b/c i was over 18 years old. because they are either going to (1) do it more often, to get on my nerves purposely and successfully and easily (2) ignore me, because i do not matter to them. or at all (3) do it less often. and it takes a lot of energy to fancy that they might do (#3). and it is much easier to fathom/imagine/visualize that they might do (1) or (2). and besides, even if they did (3), then what? as a personal favor to me? that doesn't make sense.

anyways whatever. so now i am 34 years old and have long ago, stopped pretty much hanging out. voluntary social interaction. with everyone altogether. totally gross. disgusted with their attitudes.

but whatever. who am i to say something? i have no rights or emotions, and i am not a person. thus have no authority or power. anyone can do or say anything to me, and i ain't got no recourse.

even the word "woman" contains the word "man". the word "female" contains the word "male".

in French, it's "ils" (plural male), even if it is 10000 women and one man. it is only "elles" if it is all women.

so, sexism is inherent in the language.

having said that, word choice. euphemisms. also reveal the speaker's attitude/bias.

encourage versus pressure

"what?" versus "excuse me?"

^I don't mind being called girl, though I'm more often referred these days to as lady, which I don't mind either. This is because the people using the terms in my case are trying to be nice If my experience of the words was of them being used on me in a derogatory way, I would feel differently. Since you don't like being called girl, then you should tell people that. You have a right not to be called something that offends you, just be aware that the person saying it may not have been meaning to cause offence.

I often feel my views and feelings of of no value in the world and can be ignored. Most often when yet again I have LITERALLY been shoved into the gutter (and the traffic) so that other people on the pavement can walk next to their companions

Yes, it's sexist, but only slightly so. It is an obvious fact that women tend to be physically weaker than men.

U2's Bono Thinks Music Has Become 'Very Girly'

fluffysaurus

no, i do not have a right to not get called anything just because it "offends" me.

racist, sexist, homophobic, classist, superficial, materialistic, arrogant, egocentric, ethnocentric, judgmental precious lil "people" have a right to free speech.

even in the case of transgender pronouns, it was not until 2012 that Equal Employment Opportunity Commission added "gender identity" to the list of protected status. as a result of that law, in the united states, someone at work, has to call customers and other employees by the pronoun that matches their gender expression, not necessarily their biological sex. so, even though i was assigned female at birth, and have not had sex reassignment surgery (expensive, dangerous), just because i am wearing boys' clothes, when someone at work is interacting with me, they have to call me "he" instead of "she". but that is just when the speaker is at work. nobody is at work constantly, 24/7/365.

furthermore, even though there is a law, then what? what if someone calls me "she" instead of "he", and the speaker is at work? what am i going to do, take out a civil lawsuit? in the news, some transgenders have taken out lawsuits against companies for "discrimination". that discrimination includes getting called by the wrong pronoun. (fine). however, some lawsuits take over two years long. some lawyers charge 600 bucks an hour. just because someone has the moral high road, does not guarantee that he/she will win the lawsuit. furthermore, the company has more $$ to hire an expensive lawyer, than the plaintiff.

seriously.

call 911? civil lawsuit?

peer pressure totally out of question. precious lil homophobic "people" totally outnumber me, so they overpower me. at least, in 2004 in san diego, when i started Gender Therapy, they did.

the speaker might not intend offense. (fine). however, even if the speaker does intend offense, there is little or nothing i can do (short of civil lawsuit) about it.

quite frankly, sometimes i think/feel that my views and feelings have no value either. (fine). however, you can't correctly, absolutely, objectively measure the inherent value of something.

even the value of currency changes.

monetary exchange rate.

for example, one Japanese yen equals how many united states dollars? the answer to that question is constantly changing.

so. maybe others do not act like your views and feelings have value. (fine). but they are not necessarily factually accurate.

but what gets on my nerves, is how precious lil "people" act like their views and feelings are of utomost importance, while mines do not matter.

seriously

big egoed

some precious lil "people" act like they have never done anything wrong before.

Despite my previous comment, it's certainly not something I would ever say outside of quotation or irony.

"You hit like a girl" is a phrase, and not a considered comparison.
when people say that, they are repeating phrases without giving thought to the literal meaning of it.

also, about the male lion always being able to overpower lionesses, i have considered that an exception may be when the female is protecting her offspring.
i remember seeing a fight between a lion and a lioness protecting her cubs, and the lion was bashed about the head viciously and just ran away because it was too vicious for him.

i have seen stories of women lifting immense weights off their children to save them.

Fluffysaurus

Everyone can think whatever they want.

There are many situations where you can't just "avoid" someone. For example, in some college majors, a class is only offered once a year, and taught by one instructor. Family members, coworkers, neighbors, things like that, you might not be able to avoid.

The other situations, you can avoid anyone you want.

Quite frankly I have never had a sufficient number of precious lil "friends"

So I feel intimidated and scared that if I have the nerve to try to micromanage their speech patterns or control them, they won't be my precious lil "friends" anymore

Your relationships might be more equal

Anyways anyone "could request" anyone to do anything. Anyone might refuse

No law says they have to. And I am not their boss and I have no authority or peer pressure influence

Seriously though it takes a lot of imagination to fathom that any of my previous precious lil "friends" might change their behavior on purpose, just because I asked

While I am at it, might as well "request" that they say "excuse me" instead of "what when I say something that they do not hear

And I might as well "request" them to never use the word "mad". "Mad" sounds demeaning and unjustified. The correct word is "angry"

And I might as well "request" they stop making comments about my appearance. And that they do not make so many judgments ("that mean", when I pulled on a dogs leash)

And that they stop cancelling every social interaction, just because some better opportunity came up

And they give up the "holier than thou" attitude

And that they stop micromanaging me

Those precious lil "friends" are not willing to accommodate or humor me. While they act like I have a moral obligation to do whatever they tell me. Immediately, permanently, cheerfully

There is no absolute objective correct unbiased method of measuring "respect"

Some precious lil "people" are so arrogant that they loudly announce that whenever someone does or says something they do not like it's "disrespectful"

Unlimited veto power