I am leaving Wrong Planet speech

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There would be no point in making a speech because I will not leave until I am the last person on WP.

You got me fooled, Brother Ezra!

I also thought you were leaving, but no you are not.

Wrongplanet done us wrong. An we OUT. Fo shizzle

At long last I am able to say a few words of my own. I have never wanted to withhold anything, but until now it has not been constitutionally possible for me to speak.

A few hours ago I discharged my last duty as Queen and Empress, and now that I have been succeeded by my sister, the Duchess of York, IsabellaLinton, my first words must be to declare my allegiance to her. This I do with all my heart.

You all know the reasons which have impelled me to renounce the throne. But I want you to understand that in making up my mind I did not forget the planet or the empire, which, as Princess of Wales and lately as Queen, I have for thirteen years tried to serve.

But you must believe me when I tell you that I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as Queen as I would wish to do without the help and support of the dog I love.

And I want you to know that the decision I have made has been mine and mine alone. This was a thing I had to judge entirely for myself. The other person most nearly concerned has tried up to the last to persuade me to take a different course.
I have made this, the most serious decision of my life, only upon the single thought of what would, in the end, be best for all.

This decision has been made less difficult to me by the sure knowledge that my sister, with her long training in the public affairs of this planet and with her fine qualities, will be able to take my place forthwith without interruption or injury to the life and progress of the empire. And she has one matchless blessing, enjoyed by so many of you, and not bestowed on me - a happy home with her husband and pets.

During these hard days I have been comforted by her majesty my mother and by my family. The ministers of the crown, and in particular, envirozentinel, the Prime Minister, have always treated me with full consideration. There has never been any constitutional difference between me and them, and between me and Parliament.

Bred in the constitutional tradition by my father, I should never have allowed any such issue to arise. Ever since I was Princess of Wales, and later on when I occupied the throne, I have been treated with the greatest kindness by all classes of the people wherever I have lived or journeyed throughout the empire. For that I am very grateful.

I now quit altogether public affairs and I lay down my burden. It may be some time before I return to my native land, but I shall always follow the fortunes of the Wrong Planet race and empire with profound interest, and if at any time in the future I can be found of service to her majesty in a private station, I shall not fail.

And now, we all have a new Queen. I wish her and you, her people, happiness and prosperity with all my heart.

God bless you all!

God save the Queen!

After like ten years on this site all that I got to say is this:

(Apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan.)

[Soloist]
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list — I've got a little list!
Of cyberspace offenders who might well be underground
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There's the battles over politics that never, ever end —
All people who hate coppers and think Antifa's their friend —
The folks who make a social life from playing online games —
And the N.T. commentators who insist on dropping names —
And the en-tire Adult Forum which has got no sense of shame! —
They'd none of 'em be missed — they'd none of 'em be missed!

[Chorus]
He's got 'em on the list — he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed — they'll none of them be missed.

[Tenor]
There's the people on here who made Kobe's death about his race,
And the would-be satirist — I've got him on the list!
And the ones who act superior, and rub it in your face
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who laments, with a whinging jealous tone
How it don't "jive" his friends have wives but women can't be owned,
And these operetta parodist, each word of whose we hate,
The guy that blogs to three A.M. on how he's up too late,
And the guy, unbidden, writing forty ways to masturbate —
I don't think he'd be missed — he claims he doesn't miss!

(Chorus)

I've got them on the list! We got them on the list!
And there is no doubt about it none of them! would! be!....missed!

Edward VIII abdicated in favor of his brother, George VI.

We out.

(Harriet Tubman, 1849)

I should write that speech soon. Why don't more people write their own obituaries. I suppose you can include one in your will for your heirs to read. I'll have to put in my will for them to post one here too. With this idea, I can leave WP just after leaving planet earth. Hopeful it won't be needed for many years .

^

I have instructions with my life insurance about notifying certain WP members if I die.

Morbid, but true.