Finally showered today, couldn't remember the last time I did but I didn't stink (I still do things like wear deodorant and change clothes even when I don't shower, and I don't sweat very much) and couldn't go out in public for people to see my badly-in-need-of-a-wash hair, so it was something that got pushed to the back of my mind for a while. Only going out to walk the dog, but that's what I ordinarily do anyway. I don't have a job and don't make grocery runs (I still live with my parents, my mom does the grocery shopping - though right now she's keeping it to a minimum). I live in a suburban area and outside there are still children screaming, lawn machinery running, dogs barking, cars driving by, and I encounter just as many people as ever when walking my dog, so things really don't seem that different to me except that we don't occasionally go out to eat and my mom can't always get everything I want from the grocery store because they're sold out of a lot of things. I am, though, logging some serious hours on my Pokemon game.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"