If I have a nice house, will I get more social acceptance?

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that was your situation, we don't know the OPs situation.

Your a lot cooler than my mom She got mad when me & Cass slept together in my room with the door closed when I was almost 30 & we def were not doing anything except sleeping. Mom lightened up after me & Cass had officially moved in together. In my mom's defense she grew up in a very hard-core conservative area & my grandparents would have had problems with her doing that.

He's had girlfriends staying over since he was about 19 or 20.
He lived away for many years for Uni.
Coming home he needed the same freedoms.
My daughter's (former) BF stayed over a few times too.
They were in high school.


@cyberdad -
I think we do know a fair bit about OP's situation.
He wants to be perceived as NT.
He's scared people will find out he's autistic.
He's just started a new job.
He thinks women will be impressed by a house.


My point is that living alone in an apartment gives him just as much freedom.
He doesn't need to impress anyone by taking a huge mortgage.

I agree it's superficial, but we Neurotypicals are mostly surface level (largely because we spread ourselves so thinly) Sometimes it's nothing more than a boost to one's self-esteem and that might be enough to tip the scales.

Money may attract some women as a main motive, but a lot more women now are looking for someone they can connect with and feel comfortable around like would rather be with someone with a bit less money who makes them feel special than someone with lots of money who sort of disregards them.

Also though some of the women attracted to money, that may be all they are attracted to so they may try to take advantage of you to try and get at your money. LIke, if you do get a serious relationship to where you are living together than you should share...but you should never give a very new dating partner money or spend too much on them till you get to know each other and can be more sure they aren't just trying to scam you.

I remember one time on OKcupid a guy who said he had a lot of money messaged me and propositioned that he would take care of me and I'd never have to work. And I have to admit for a moment I did think about it, but then I decided it may not be the best idea to get so dependent on someone else and I should still work towards being able to earn some income myself. Plus, I was also worried it could just be a trap(and I didn't want to become some rich guys plaything or sex toy). so yeah I did not end up following up with them and just never responded back. But by the time I got back on and responded to my now boyfriend, I saw that profile was deleted or removed anyways.

Last edited by Sweetleaf on 05 Jul 2024, 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.

I think the red-pill community has (to some extent) made it sound like money is crucial in getting a partner. One element they don't factor is sheer luck. Some men are simply in the right place, right time and find themselves in a community where opportunity to meet and interact with women. Of course good looks/presentation always help.

Well also in history it was common for woman to need to be a bit concerned with that, because even just 100 or so years ago we could not even vote or own property. So I think also a bit is carry over from the time period the best a woman could do is find a rich husband to take care of her and whatever kids she has with him. Since women did not really have much opportunity back then. and some girls are still being raised with messages like that even in 2024.

Some people think of home ownership as a sign of stability & us autistics do like & need some routine & predictability which might be more difficult in an apartment. Having to deal with landlords coming over for inspections & doing various maintenance things at their convenience & such as well as having neighbors sharing walls, floors, & ceilings can be a real pain sometimes.

Nice house or nice car does nothing in itself to make one socially acceptable. I have had some lovely cars and yet this in itself did not bring me any acceptability. (Probably if I went to car meets they would amongst enthusiastic car people, but not in general).

The thing is, that socially acceptable people seem to have some hidden magnetic element which keeps them together with others who have the same, and people like us sort of are free to think outside the box and go outside the box, so are not understood by the two dimentional people who can't, so they see us operating on a third dimention and not understand it which is why there is that dissconnect.

Have you ever played an online game called Asphalt 9 Legends on the Nintendo Switch? Have you raced against drivers who use "Touchdrive" when you are using the full controls? That is the best analogy of the difference between the groupthink people which we can call "Touchdrives" and us who can use the whole track.

I don't know. I've heard there are many people who revere the wealthy and get impressed by resource displays, people who won't take you seriously if your assets are humble. Personally I've never liked such people so I wouldn't want to impress them even if I could. It wouldn't be me they cared about, it would be my wealth.

If he wants a house for his own reasons then by all means, he should save up and consider getting one. I'm not knocking home ownership but the market is bad right now. It's a brand new job for him so he doesn't even have longterm job security, so I doubt he'd even qualify for a mortgage for quite some time (usually a year or more at the job). I'm just saying it's not necessarily going to impress people or make him a popular party animal. Where are all these party-seeking friends going to come from if he doesn't know them already?

As for dating, I think it's kind of presumptuous for him to assume his future female partner won't already have a house of her own near her work, or that she'll be the type to be wooed by mortgages and lawn mowers. Home ownership is a full-time job with ongoing responsibilities. I think living in a home with an air of "come live here and we'll make babies!" is rather creepy. Most women would want to take an equal part in choosing where the couple will live or what features the house will have, assuming they're contributing to it financially as well.

Was your house brand new?

No. Why?
I've never liked new builds.
It was in a very affluent residential area.
I chose a home near woodlands and the best elementary schools.

Location, location, location.

My brother got a new build and hated it.
The quality of workmanship has deteriorated over the years.

I only want a new build. I mainly only buy things new. Because I feel buying new only shows off a sense of class.