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Anyone else wants to return as a vengeful ghost?

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CockneyRebel
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07 Oct 2024, 7:54 am

pokeystinker wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
No. I want to come back as Om Nom to sweeten people up.


Why?!


Because I'm a Sweet Pea.


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12 Oct 2024, 9:31 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
pokeystinker wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
No. I want to come back as Om Nom to sweeten people up.


Why?!


Because I'm a Sweet Pea.


And it's never once crossed your mind, wanting to get back at this f****d up world and its f****d up inhabitants for every wrong they've done to us?


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funeralxempire
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12 Oct 2024, 11:01 pm

pokeystinker wrote:
And it's never once crossed your mind, wanting to get back at this f****d up world and its f****d up inhabitants for every wrong they've done to us?


Not everyone is so consumed by their own hatred that they're incapable of seeing past it.

CR seems to have a pretty healthy mindset in this regard, a lot of people could stand to learn from his example.


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12 Oct 2024, 11:13 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
pokeystinker wrote:
And it's never once crossed your mind, wanting to get back at this f****d up world and its f****d up inhabitants for every wrong they've done to us?


Not everyone is so consumed by their own hatred that they're incapable of seeing past it.

CR seems to have a pretty healthy mindset in this regard, a lot of people could stand to learn from his example.


Would be nice to let go of it, except I don't see the bastards who wronged me choking on karma.


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funeralxempire
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12 Oct 2024, 11:20 pm

pokeystinker wrote:
Would be nice to let go of it, except I don't see the bastards who wronged me choking on karma.


That's the whole point of letting go, you stop being emotionally invested in such things.

Grievance collecting seems to be incredibly common among people with ASD, but I've yet to see one of us who actually benefits from that tendency.

It's also the sort of thing that a lot of people view as a massive red flag, so it isn't just self-defeating because of how it directly impacts that person, it's also self-defeating because people don't want anything to do with people who collect grievances.

People don't like being around Eeyore, and they even less like being around his bitter, vindictive cousin.


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“Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas, this is part of our strategy” —Netanyahu
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


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13 Oct 2024, 12:24 am

funeralxempire wrote:
pokeystinker wrote:
Would be nice to let go of it, except I don't see the bastards who wronged me choking on karma.


That's the whole point of letting go, you stop being emotionally invested in such things.

Grievance collecting seems to be incredibly common among people with ASD, but I've yet to see one of us who actually benefits from that tendency.

It's also the sort of thing that a lot of people view as a massive red flag, so it isn't just self-defeating because of how it directly impacts that person, it's also self-defeating because people don't want anything to do with people who collect grievances.

People don't like being around Eeyore, and they even less like being around his bitter, vindictive cousin.


Not like people like being around us autists in the first place...


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funeralxempire
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13 Oct 2024, 12:31 am

pokeystinker wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
pokeystinker wrote:
Would be nice to let go of it, except I don't see the bastards who wronged me choking on karma.


That's the whole point of letting go, you stop being emotionally invested in such things.

Grievance collecting seems to be incredibly common among people with ASD, but I've yet to see one of us who actually benefits from that tendency.

It's also the sort of thing that a lot of people view as a massive red flag, so it isn't just self-defeating because of how it directly impacts that person, it's also self-defeating because people don't want anything to do with people who collect grievances.

People don't like being around Eeyore, and they even less like being around his bitter, vindictive cousin.


Not like people like being around us autists in the first place...


So why handicap yourself further by adopting a persona that most people will find repellent?

Like, is it a coping mechanism to feel like you have a greater degree of agency over failed social interactions? If that's the case, why carry so much resentment towards others? If you don't want to form connections then why be wounded over a failure to form connections you sincerely don't want?


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“Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas, this is part of our strategy” —Netanyahu
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


CockneyRebel
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13 Oct 2024, 12:45 am

I'd rather kill the jolly jokers who have done me wrong with kindness as a 3 pound pea with a cute face.


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13 Oct 2024, 12:48 am

You really don't know me, do you. If you did, you wouldn't be trying to challenge my thinking. How about we appreciate each others differences. I know how screwed up people are. I've just dealt with two screwed up employees at a grocery store. I'd like to come back as a little Pea Nom and kill them with my kindness.


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13 Oct 2024, 1:22 am

funeralxempire wrote:

So why handicap yourself further by adopting a persona that most people will find repellent?

Like, is it a coping mechanism to feel like you have a greater degree of agency over failed social interactions? If that's the case, why carry so much resentment towards others? If you don't want to form connections then why be wounded over a failure to form connections you sincerely don't want?


The resentment goes beyond failed social interactions. I'm talking here about a lifetime of bullying, family disputes, workplace politics, that sort of thing.


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13 Oct 2024, 1:23 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I'd rather kill the jolly jokers who have done me wrong with kindness as a 3 pound pea with a cute face.


Very nice of you then.


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funeralxempire
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13 Oct 2024, 1:34 am

pokeystinker wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

So why handicap yourself further by adopting a persona that most people will find repellent?

Like, is it a coping mechanism to feel like you have a greater degree of agency over failed social interactions? If that's the case, why carry so much resentment towards others? If you don't want to form connections then why be wounded over a failure to form connections you sincerely don't want?


The resentment goes beyond failed social interactions. I'm talking here about a lifetime of bullying, family disputes, workplace politics, that sort of thing.


And I'm lumping those things together as forms of and symptoms of social failure.

But also, sometimes you just need to take the L and move on in life. Sometimes you don't win family disputes, workplace disputes, etc and spending the rest of your life bitter and angry over it just makes the loss that much more significant when (typically) it doesn't need to be.

I was bullied relentlessly through out most of school, but what benefit is it to me to remain angry over it >20 years later? Literally all it does is increase the harm caused by the bullies. It's not like remaining angry increases your opportunity for revenge so all it does is waste emotional energy.

If you lack the opportunity to retaliate, and lack the means by which to retaliate, or understand the cost of retaliation exceeds the benefits significantly, why keep nursing the grudge anyways? It sure seems like all that accomplishes is keeping the wound from healing.

Seriously, what do one gain from choosing to be miserable and focused on every slight they've ever experienced? It sure seems like emotionally torturing yourself for nothing. You'd understand if the self-harm was physical, like cutting yourself, but what makes this form of self-harm any different?


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“Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas, this is part of our strategy” —Netanyahu
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


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13 Oct 2024, 1:49 am

funeralxempire wrote:

And I'm lumping those things together as forms of and symptoms of social failure.

But also, sometimes you just need to take the L and move on in life. Sometimes you don't win family disputes, workplace disputes, etc and spending the rest of your life bitter and angry over it just makes the loss that much more significant when (typically) it doesn't need to be.

I was bullied relentlessly through out most of school, but what benefit is it to me to remain angry over it >20 years later? Literally all it does is increase the harm caused by the bullies. It's not like remaining angry increases your opportunity for revenge so all it does is waste emotional energy.

If you lack the opportunity to retaliate, and lack the means by which to retaliate, or understand the cost of retaliation exceeds the benefits significantly, why keep nursing the grudge anyways? It sure seems like all that accomplishes is keeping the wound from healing.

Seriously, what do one gain from choosing to be miserable and focused on every slight they've ever experienced? It sure seems like emotionally torturing yourself for nothing. You'd understand if the self-harm was physical, like cutting yourself, but what makes this form of self-harm any different?


Because there's nothing else to be focused on?


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funeralxempire
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13 Oct 2024, 2:00 am

pokeystinker wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

And I'm lumping those things together as forms of and symptoms of social failure.

But also, sometimes you just need to take the L and move on in life. Sometimes you don't win family disputes, workplace disputes, etc and spending the rest of your life bitter and angry over it just makes the loss that much more significant when (typically) it doesn't need to be.

I was bullied relentlessly through out most of school, but what benefit is it to me to remain angry over it >20 years later? Literally all it does is increase the harm caused by the bullies. It's not like remaining angry increases your opportunity for revenge so all it does is waste emotional energy.

If you lack the opportunity to retaliate, and lack the means by which to retaliate, or understand the cost of retaliation exceeds the benefits significantly, why keep nursing the grudge anyways? It sure seems like all that accomplishes is keeping the wound from healing.

Seriously, what do one gain from choosing to be miserable and focused on every slight they've ever experienced? It sure seems like emotionally torturing yourself for nothing. You'd understand if the self-harm was physical, like cutting yourself, but what makes this form of self-harm any different?


Because there's nothing else to be focused on?


When you zoom in on a small part of the picture it can dominate your field of vision but that doesn't mean what you're seeing at that moment is all there is to see.


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“Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas, this is part of our strategy” —Netanyahu
"Many of us like to ask ourselves, What would I do if I was alive during slavery? Or the Jim Crow South? Or apartheid? What would I do if my country was committing genocide?' The answer is, you're doing it. Right now." —Former U.S. Airman (Air Force) Aaron Bushnell


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13 Oct 2024, 2:03 am

funeralxempire wrote:
pokeystinker wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:

And I'm lumping those things together as forms of and symptoms of social failure.

But also, sometimes you just need to take the L and move on in life. Sometimes you don't win family disputes, workplace disputes, etc and spending the rest of your life bitter and angry over it just makes the loss that much more significant when (typically) it doesn't need to be.

I was bullied relentlessly through out most of school, but what benefit is it to me to remain angry over it >20 years later? Literally all it does is increase the harm caused by the bullies. It's not like remaining angry increases your opportunity for revenge so all it does is waste emotional energy.

If you lack the opportunity to retaliate, and lack the means by which to retaliate, or understand the cost of retaliation exceeds the benefits significantly, why keep nursing the grudge anyways? It sure seems like all that accomplishes is keeping the wound from healing.

Seriously, what do one gain from choosing to be miserable and focused on every slight they've ever experienced? It sure seems like emotionally torturing yourself for nothing. You'd understand if the self-harm was physical, like cutting yourself, but what makes this form of self-harm any different?


Because there's nothing else to be focused on?


When you zoom in on a small part of the picture it can dominate your field of vision but that doesn't mean what you're seeing at that moment is all there is to see.


All I see is a lifetime of unhappiness.


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13 Oct 2024, 2:12 am

pokeystinker wrote:
Anyone else wants to return as a vengeful ghost to haunt those who've wronged them?
No.

The people who committed the worst wrongs against me are already dead, and the rest would not be worth the trouble.


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