The unpopular WP members club

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I've been thinking about what you said for a long time CR. I think you have a point, but you have to remember that's it's not always about sophistication. Some of the members on here have hyperlexia (like me), so they probably look more sophisticated than they really are. Some of the moderate functioning autistics on here are much more intelligent than I am, but I just have different life experiences. I feel sad that the moderate functioning ones might be too intimidated to talk to people like me.

I actually wish people would talk about their special interests more often on here. Special interests are a magical thing in that they span functioning levels. People gravitate towards posters with a similar functioning level to themselves. But The Kinks are one of my special interests and if you talked about them more, I'd respond. You shouldn't feel intimidated by other members on here because I'm sure they'd like to talk to you as well.

I'd like to talk more to people all over the spectrum; at the moment I seem to talk more to the higher functioning and those with mental health issues as their main problem, because that's what I'm like. If I see someone with the same interests as me, though, it doesn't matter.

Hi artrat and others. I can relate to the feeling behind starting this thread and I have discussed this with artrat on WP before. I have only ever been active on one forum similar to this (a non-AS forum) and there I think I did tend to find a little more empathy and friendliness, although there's maybe not much in it.

It's also, for me, a question of manners sometimes. For example, if someboddy engages with a thread I started and I respond quite substantially to their point, and then they don't reply at all or come back with a really superficial reply. But at the same time I think I probably unwittingly do this to others because I don't always keep on top of replies to what I have written.

As far as being un/popular for having certain views goes, I don't think you can expect any different. I like having my views challenged and tested and sometimes want to challenge the views of others, often to test further my own. If I find it hard to find common ground or a common language to share in agreement or contention, I will tend not to engage with those members because the quality of the communication is poor.

I find there's something a little pathetic in the 'poor me' attitude that seems to be evident to some extent in this thread, and something a little phony in attempts to make an effort to be nice in this thread rather than in others. On the other hand, I count myself as 'guilty' of this to some extent and I also appreciate the opportunity to jump onboard this particular bandwagon.

Perhaps a lot of this concern about being unpopular is imagined due to our insecurities. To some extent I am on here to get what I can out of it in temrs of personal development which I will then help me in real life. I'm not sure there's anything so great about being popular on here anyway. I mean, these are virtual relationships to some extent and I for one also seek real relationships.

Also, there will be some people on WP who will have been here for a while and have found a few people who have become close or friendly or familiar and so there will be some more free-flowing banter than among newer members.

But I like the idea for this thread and I think you do have a point, artrat, that people here as in other social spheres tend to clique and seek approval etc.

Now, I'm sure there's a couple of old threads where you've left my questions unanswered.

My heart goes out here (Gadge).

We have neighbors that qualified for disability (after a layoff), but the system is 2 years back logged. No money yet. Foreclosure is in the process.

If we had the money, I would anonymously pay the debt. Just me.

It'd be nice if neighbors stuck together in a pinch and could just maybe view others as 'family.'

Hi,
My two main road blocks to posting more here are;
1) I am like Dory from Finding Nemo. By the time I hit post reply and start to write something, most of what was said before in the whole thread has vacated my brain.
2) My parents drilled it into me that "If you cant say something nice, Don't say anything at all."
So I want to reply to posts/posters, but wind up spending literally days trying to think if what I have to say could possibly hurt someone's feelings. Then I can't remember what I wanted to post that was least offensive, then I get obsessed with punctuation because I feel that really bad punctuation might bother someone.
By the time I get comfortable with what to post, so many other posts have been made, I feel my statement is irrelevant.

OOOH my head is spinning.

My Special interest/obsession is horses.
My name GreyGirl is for my greyhounds and greyhound rescue.
I'm almost 40 and have been married for almost 20 years.
There's no way I could function in society without my husband.
I don't feel unpopular, just socially awkward and confused.
Thank you very much, and have a good afternoon.
Oh, If anyone ever has a problem with something I post. I would much rather settle the issue through PM's than in public. I'ts easier, IMHO to resolve things one on one.
Ok, Thanks again.

I'm unpopular. I don't really mind it. I'm used to it.

Thanks Mdyar
btw, my neighbors think I'm nuts
it would be nice if the EEOC did their job, and if SSDI didn't do everything twice

Last edited by gadge on 01 Feb 2012, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Is that you in the avatar gadge?

Yes, thats me........

You look good.

Welcome to the club!

How do you all know whether you're "unpopular" or not?

Also- Isnt there more to being 'unpopular' than just being ignored?

Dont you have to be actively disliked?

Ive never seen any of you self-described 'unpopular' folks being actively picked on.

Put me on that list the trick is not to care.

So most of us are no differant to being out in the real world

Their are a lot of frauds around here .

I certainly don't think it deserves to be stickied.

I crave attention and then when I get it on the internet or real life then I feel uncomfortable.
I don't even think that I deserve attention.
My psychiatrist is questioning my diagnoses. She thinks I may have OCD,PTSD or some sort of anxiety disorder.
I don't understand how I can not be an aspie. The possible change of diagnoses scares me.
I guess that my social skills and the ability to easily recognize my emotions does not qualify as aspergers.


I hope that if my diagnoses changes that I am still welcome on this forum.

PuddingMouse, I am not afraid to talk to people with hyperlexia. I just dislike when people with hyperlexia judge people that have trouble with written language.
I could not even post on this forum without the use of spell check.

Aussiebloke, I wish that I didn't care but that wont happen anytime soon.

I can assure you, artrat, that it's absolutely possible to have OCD symptoms, PTSD, and other anxiety disorders comorbid with Asperger's(I know this because I am an example of such). I have a psychologist who is an awesome guy. Helps me with the anxiety and OCD. Doesn't really agree with the Asperger's diagnosis, either. But that's okay, because he's awesome and the anxiety and such plague me most on a daily basis anyways. Besides, I've got a psychiatrist speciallizing in autism for the Aspie side of things.

And that's why I got the full neuropsych done. There's a lot of differtial diagnoses when it comes to this sort of thing; a lot of crossover of symptoms. And it's very difficult for a psychologist to see all of your issues manifest in the proper context.

Hell, my own mother is a doctor(OBGYN), and she refuses to believe my diagnosis. It's quite possible to have very reasonable and intelligent folks disagree with you or read the evidence differently than others. That doesn't invalidate the diagnosis or your own beliefs. Neither of those people, whose opinions I do value quite a bit, have any experience whatsoever with Asperger's. The folks who diagnosed me did, and they were very thorough in their tests. Ultimately, I have to trust in the scientific method.

Everywhere I go, its a popularity contest. I'm tired of it.