I actually enjoy the struggles of physical combat. Not saying I enjoy hurting people, but the fast paced action and reaction just seems to fit nicely with how my mind works. I'm really a nice guy, but this is something I hold dear. I can act quickly, and think even more quickly. Plus, overcoming somebody much bigger, smarter or more experienced than I am is sort of a reward in it's own sense.
Doesn't make me feel any different about myself, but it tells me that I should be confident that I can handle a problem no matter what happens. If a real fight breaks out, of course I will do whatever I can to stop it and keep anyone from getting hurt. I don't like seeing people fight and get hurt. But when it's me and someone else mutually agreeing that 'this is going to be done, no grudges will be kept, and we will both enjoy this', it's the greatest thing ever to me. I feel accomplished, even if I fail and lose the engagement.
This is why I love backyard wrestling. Not only is being over-the-top okay, it's encouraged. I once asked a semi-pro fighter to put me in his most secure lock, it was a rear naked choke. It took me less than a minute to slip out and apply a traditional armbar to him. He submitted to me, and now I want to see what else I can do. It's like learning about myself. I want to see how far I can go, but I know it'll wind up with me dead or with so many concussions that I succumb to the pain of my own insanity.
Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Suggestions?