Pissed off - I had today set up so I wouldn't have to interact with a relative at all, all day. Just one damn day without them in my face. Then just before I finish work, I get a text telling me they want something, and then they call to discuss the intimate details of it all, and tell me they are coming over to get it. I floor it back to temporary place I'm staying for a while, gather what they wanted, put it outside, then floor it far enough away again to text them and tell them where it is, all so I didn't have to see them. Speaking to them already f*cked up my whole golden relative-free day, I was NOT going to see them. I got in a panic because they were going to go and get a key from another relative, and I hadn't been expecting to have to hide everything about my entire life just to get a modicum of privacy like usual, so had left personal things all over the place I did not want them to see.
I also looked transgender because I wasn't expecting to have to play act cis because I wasn't around them, and the idea of them seeing me exposed like that was just no. I was paranoid about getting "caught" then all afternoon, paranoid they were going to turn up because unfortunately they know where I am, and catching me in a compromising position without my BS mask on.
I am so sick of this shite. I want them out of my life.
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I have colitis
I accidentally misread that as "I have coitus."
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One of the other tenants in my building, who also happens to be an ex-cop AND is on the board of the housing association and therefore is part of the decisions around this place (read: considers himself as having power here), looks at me like I'm DIRT anytime I happen to pass him by walking along the street, locally. He even fully comes to a stop and STARES at me as if waiting for me to do something he doesn't like (he once tried to get me in trouble for feeding some birds).
What a sh***y person.
Why do some people have to do this sort of thing? Why can't they just mind their own damn business and leave others alone?
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Alexithymia - 147 points.
Low-Verbal.