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Udinaas
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17 Dec 2020, 2:40 pm

Humans are the only true animals. The other "animals" are really fungi.



PhosphorusDecree
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17 Dec 2020, 3:35 pm

All airlines are legally obliged to let guide elephants board the plane.


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Erewhon
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17 Dec 2020, 5:08 pm

Tempus Fugit wrote:
I came across Jeff Bezos the other day and he gave me 100 million dollars after I asked nicely.


Tempus Fugit is my brother.
And real brothers share everything.
So im very thankfull to my brother for the 50 million dollar.



CockneyRebel
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17 Dec 2020, 10:05 pm

It was just a fart.


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auntblabby
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17 Dec 2020, 10:14 pm

i invented a shart filter.



Double Retired
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18 Dec 2020, 12:26 pm

auntblabby wrote:
i invented a shart filter.
Pants?

By the way, the first pants were made for pantomime performances.


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Edna3362
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18 Dec 2020, 1:21 pm

Everyone did not came into this world naked.


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PhosphorusDecree
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18 Dec 2020, 3:15 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
Everyone did not came into this world naked.


True. I was born wearing a teeny-tiny suit of armor.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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18 Dec 2020, 9:03 pm

Training for my first job began last Thursday.


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CockneyRebel
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18 Dec 2020, 10:52 pm

I just popped some peas in the microwave.


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19 Dec 2020, 1:15 pm

You can use two pieces of tree bark as headphones.


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PhosphorusDecree
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19 Dec 2020, 4:03 pm

It'll all be over by Christmas. Life on Earth, that is. Lord Mordax and the WorldReapers have arrived in orbit, and soon their awful Christmas single shall blast this planet down to bedrock.


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CockneyRebel
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19 Dec 2020, 9:39 pm

I can really go for the sweet taste of a Monster. I like those better than that German non-alcoholic beer.


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PhosphorusDecree
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20 Dec 2020, 4:19 am

Equestriolan Guinea is a small African country ruled by ruthless and corrupt talking ponies.


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Cornflake
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20 Dec 2020, 9:52 am

Toothbrushes often think about plates and occasionally, saucers.


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maycontainthunder
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20 Dec 2020, 10:34 am

pigs in blankets flavoured crisps taste like they are supposed to.