Post a random truth (about yourself)

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I am always either completely disinterested in sex and I am deeply analytical and philosophical and occasionally artistic or I am very very romantic... and at all these times I am full of huge amounts of platonic love for everyone...

...or when the above doesn't apply I'm exceedingly hypersexual. When sexually satisfied I'm back to the above (paragraph) again.

I have no pets in my home.

I have no pets in my home.

I have social pension now.

I adore listening to the music that I adore listening to.

I have diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I have obsessive compulsive symptoms and I have taken an SSRI that can treat those symptoms, called Citalopram, but recently I had to stop taking it because it made my mood too elated/manic. Now I'm very excitable and happy as usual but not to the extent of dysfucntional mania. However, unfortunately, because I'm not longer taking Citalopram to treat my O.C. symptoms my O.C. symptoms have intensified. Also my psych has said in the past that it makes the symptoms even worse when I stop taking my Citalopram suddenly instead of reducing it. So I have actually made my O.C. symptoms even worse by stopping it and I'd have been better off not taking it in the first place. Unfortunately I had to stop taking it because my mania became more severe than my O.C. symptoms. If I had even remotely thought that I would have become so manic from taking Citalopram I wouldn't have started taking it. My O.C. symptoms have came back badly due to stopping the Citalopram--and the thing is I didn't most recency start taking it to treat my O.C. symptoms (that's what I took it for in the past): but, rather, I actually started taking it because my GP recommended I take it to treat depressive symptoms I had been having that were worsening. It not only treated the depression though it made me super duper happy because my mood is so volatile. Thing is, I think the SSRI was a bad idea because although I was very depressed my mood was up and down rather than just down. Sure it was very down at the time. But that's easy to see in hindsight and easy for me to say in hindsight: to be fair to my GP both myself and him thought I was on a rather chronic downer I think... and in fact maybe I would have stayed on a rather chronic downer without the SSRI to pep me up.

Problem is mood stabilziers to treat the mania and the depression is no good for me because my Psych decided I haven't got a mood disorder. I think it's probably the way Aspergers affects me I think I just have very quick changing intense moods. It's like my moods don't mean much/they're rather meaningless/they're superficial/it's so easy to bring me up and down/I have shallow emotions. They're very intense but they're shallow. I think. I think it's all a question of whether I am relieving myself of my obsessions by being compuslive. When I'm not relieving them by being compulsive I get super anxious, when I am relieving them I get super elated and when I relieve them for long periods of time and tehn suddenly I can't relieve them for a long while I go beyond anxiety and get depressed. I need to relieve my obsessions/be compulsive to be stimulated I think and without the stimulation I get depressed.... or anxious if I'm perpetually swinging between presence of relief and lack of relief.

I think my O.C. symptoms are not O.C.D. per say if I get diagnosed with Aspergers soon, I think it's part of the Aspergers. I think it's the whole wanting to stay in my comfort zone thing that Aspies get. Basically I compuslively have to stay within my comfort zone and that gets represented externally by the compulsions I carry out and internally by the obsessions that repeat over and over and nag me and make me anxious (or despondent and depressed if I can't relieve them for long periods of time)... I think that's the way my O.C. symptoms work... I think it's the way I experience my Aspergers.

Anyways, I'm odd, anyways-- I like odd despite it causing me distress I want to accept myself and I do and I hope my diagnosis will allow me to accept myself more openly to others as well as mysself--sooooo... where was I.... oh yeah so my O.C. symptoms I also think aren't O.C.D. because they're not remotely typical enough for O.C.D. I reckon I think my O.C. symptoms are very atypical.... just like being an Aspie/having Aspergers is so I reckon I'm not neurotypically O.C.ish enough to have O.C. I think I'm neurodivesively/Aspieishly O.C. and I think that's why if I get diagnosed with Aspergers it would be redundant to get diagnosed with O.C.D. but If I don't get diagnosed with Aspergers I absolutely 100% still need my severe O.C. symptoms treated regardless of whether I get diagnosed with O.C.D. itself they take over and run my life and I can't get out my comfort zone without intense distress because of them but oh that is so very Aspie and so, yes, as well as online tests and scoring once 170 for Neurodiverse and once 154 for neurodiverse I'm just very intutively certain that I'm an Aspie -- and so are my close friends and family and a Neuropsychologist in the past and my Psych suspected too (despite him not being particualry certian due to the fact him speciallizing with mental health and honestly admitting he doesn't actually know very much about ASDs/Autistic Spectrum Disorders/Autism/High Functioning Autism) and so did an assistant psychologist at an autistic school who I talked to at least once a week for two years and was the closest RL (in the sense of offline, internet is real life too I mean) friend I have ever had besides my brother Owen. He (my friend Dan, the assistant psychologist at an Austistic school (yes he's called Dan)-- unfortunately he moved to Scotland and we haven't talked in years ) suspected I have Aeprgers too). I think I'm an Aspie but anyways time will tell I'll get a diagnostic result in a few weeks.

Thanks.

I think that DSM-V is too strict about autism.

I had laser eye surgery when I was about two-years old.

I believe in the legalisation of cannabis. But only cannabis.

I've unintentionally seen a hamster give birth before.

I saw a squirrel in a film in the Internet today

I have boring brown hair... But I'm thinking about adding some auburn highlights to it. I think it works since I was a Fall baby, (born on October 12th).

I drank water today.