Post something that made you UNHAPPY today.

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lostonearth35
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24 Oct 2017, 10:00 pm

^I so get what you mean. This is just one of the reasons I blocked and unfollowed nearly everything on Facebook:roll:

I think my NT filter may be broken. I feel more uneasy and ready to explode being around them more than usual this week. And I haven't been hiding it well from what my mother has been saying.

I don't know, maybe it's because I was sick last week, and since whenever I get sick it's because I've been around other people, and I can't spray everything in public with Lysol even if I wanted to, I'm edgy and extra fearful of germs. Early today I sprayed my mattress with Lysol and washed all the sheets, and yesterday I replaced my toothbrush.

It's like these days you're almost not allowed to get sick, so if you do it's your own fault because you didn't wash your hands every two minutes or eat salad for every meal. Why must everything we do be motivated by fear or guilt? I guess surviving is more important than being happy. :(



Kitty4670
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24 Oct 2017, 10:33 pm

Another BAD day :( 8O :x :x :roll: :skull: BAD weather too :( Sometimes I hate the internet. I had little meltdown. I got an email, my new iPhone is shipped :D :heart: :heart:



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24 Oct 2017, 10:42 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
My mother and I went out for supper, but this other family had an infant that would not stop screeching. I'm trying to ignore it while my mother asks me what I wanted to order but I can't think because both the baby is loud and the music is too loud so I ended up saying "I want...I want that baby to STOP!" And then I got up and walked out of the restaurant. Then my mother and I go back to the jeep where she starts telling me what I *could* have done. I *could* have calmly told her the baby was triggering me and could we please leave. But I told her I just couldn't think and I'm sorry I can't live up to her expectations i.e. acting like a perfectly normal NT who isn't anxious or depressed about anything or everything, except I didn't explain the i.e. part. And then she claims it's not about me living up to her expectations.

Then I guess it's about living up to my own, then. And they are just as abnormally high for me as they are for other people.

We ended up getting take-out at KFC instead of the really good pizza I wanted to get but couldn't last week because I was sick. I was stuck inside most of the week because of it. And then I finally get to go out and I'm ready to strangle babies (not really). My mother should at least be glad I removed myself from the situation before I did something physically violent. :(



That how I feel with my upstairs neighbors, when it gets tooooo much, I scream & shout “shut up!” I soooooooo have to move.



IstominFan
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25 Oct 2017, 9:04 am

It's the anniversary of my cat Peter's passing. I still miss him.



nick007
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25 Oct 2017, 10:04 am

nick007 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Our refrigerator & freezer that's on top are NOT working. We noticed last night before bed that the freezer was leaking alot of water & things were unthawing. We were hoping that the fridge was still working but we found out today that it's not either. There's still some coldness in both but NOT as cold as things need to be. I called property management today & they sent someone out to check it out but nothing's going to happen till Monday & it's Friday night now. We threw away alot of food already because it unthawed & we wouldn't be able to use it in time to save it. This means we'll have to buy ALOT more cold food 1ce we have a new one or it's fixed(it's an old fridge so we're hoping it'll be replaced). I doubt property management will pay us back for the cost of food so I'm really hoping that my parents will mail me a check after I call em in a couple nights. My expenses got worse a couple months ago cuz we adopted a rabbit & I've been spending more in a month than I have coming in from Social Security Disability. My girlfriend doesn't have much money either cuz she's on SSI & has a lot of credit-card debt.
I only got a couple hours of sleep Monday morning because I wanted to be up when maintenance came. Noone came so I got up early for nothing. I took a nap for an hour or so but I think I woke up because my girlfriend called her parents downstairs while I was sleeping upstairs & she talks pretty loud on the phone sometimes. She was also having to fuss at the pets. I had an appointment this morning too & I went to bed late so I only got a couple hours of sleep again. We were hoping that someone would come while we were gone to work on the fridge but noone came. I called property management alittle while ago & someone is supposed to come between 10 & noon tomorrow. The guy on the phone gave me a name & it might be the guy who came Friday. I'm not sure if it's the same name or not. I really hope it's not him because he yelled at me on the phone for not calling him Thursday night when we noticed before bed which was 4 in the morning. He said how it wouldn't be fixed till after the weekend because I waited but apparently it wouldn't of f#cking mattered when I called since it's Tuesday afternoon & noone came over yet. My girlfriend says the Vermont state law allows us to deduct rent for certain expenses like replacing our food but I'm not sure if we should call property management 1st or not to explain the situation instead of just mailing a note instead of mailing her portion of the rent which is between $90 & a $100(her Section 8 pays most of her rent). I think she shouldn't pay it for two months. I did call my parents & mom asked how her & dad could help & I told her there isn't much they can do in Louisiana which is true but I'm still hoping they would mail us a check on their own cuz me & Cass could really use some extra $$$
The guy came & he's not a maintenance person. He was wearing some company tShirt. He tried to repair the fridge briefly & said we're getting a new one. Fridges usually last alittle longer than ours but it needs a lot of work cuz a gasket is coming off as well; since we moved in about 6 years ago there's been something that hangs when we open the door. He's going to talk to the guy I talked to on the phone yesterday & the ball's in his court. The guy I talked to yesterday said he'd call me after he followed up with the guy. So I guess it's good we're getting a new fridge but unfortunately we'll have to be without a working one a bit longer :shrug: I'm getting tired of eating cereal & canned goods. Last night Cass said we can go eat out today so that's good. If we got a working fridge today I would of been happy to order a couple large or extra large pizzas & put leftovers in the fridge to eat on for a couple days till we can go grocery shopping for cold stuff.


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Esmerelda Weatherwax
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25 Oct 2017, 10:13 am

IstominFan wrote:
It's the anniversary of my cat Peter's passing. I still miss him.


:( :cry: :(


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cecilfienkelstien
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25 Oct 2017, 11:09 am

IstominFan wrote:
It's the anniversary of my cat Peter's passing. I still miss him.

Hugs.


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BirdInFlight
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25 Oct 2017, 1:51 pm

Someone I thought was a friend seemed to express a greater understanding of autism/Asperger's after watching a documentary I asked him to watch ----- and then he actually ramped up his teasing of me.

What do I do with this? I don't even know what to think. 8O :x



lostonearth35
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25 Oct 2017, 1:56 pm

It's hard to believe Nancy Cartwright, who does the voice of Bart and most other "child" characters on The Simpsons, is now 60 years old. She's almost old enough to be my mom. :)

But then again, Mel Blanc did voices for characters until he died and he was 81. He lived just long enough to do Bugs and Daffy in Roger Rabbit.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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25 Oct 2017, 7:10 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
Someone I thought was a friend seemed to express a greater understanding of autism/Asperger's after watching a documentary I asked him to watch ----- and then he actually ramped up his teasing of me.

What do I do with this? I don't even know what to think. 8O :x


Oh boy... :(

I'm flying blind here, so take this FWIW. Can you step back a bit, put some space between you and this person, without even more emotional strain than this is causing? Sometimes people really don't *get* that they're driving us away until we distance ourselves. And then explain, if they ask. A nonverbal boundary, when verbal attempts fail.

There are risks. I've lost people who were never really there because I backed away and they never noticed. Not trying to be depressing; ultimately that was for the best, but it didn't feel that way in the moment.

FWIW.


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C2V
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25 Oct 2017, 10:56 pm

BirdInFlight wrote:
Someone I thought was a friend seemed to express a greater understanding of autism/Asperger's after watching a documentary I asked him to watch ----- and then he actually ramped up his teasing of me.

What do I do with this? I don't even know what to think. 8O :x

Ditch the tosser, I say. If it's the same person you've mentioned before, he would have had enough chances with me if I were you. I don't mean that to be offensive or anything, it's up to you what you do with your own connections.
As for me I'm always unhappy lately. I've reached saturation point. I'm just frustrated, pissed off and an inch from rage-induced meltdown all the time now these days. Working on fixing it - but that's just getting me frustrated too.


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lostonearth35
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26 Oct 2017, 10:13 am

My social worker canceled our going out today because she's sick now, with a head cold. I just knew something like this would happen. I'm going to have to go out by myself today because I'm getting stir-crazy. :(

Maybe it's better this way. If I'm out in public alone I might actually be able to cope better with the general insanity.



cecilfienkelstien
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26 Oct 2017, 11:08 am

I have a lot to do today and I don't know where to begin.


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Esmerelda Weatherwax
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26 Oct 2017, 11:11 am

^^ this. It's too cold to easily do the exterior work I need to do before it rains later in the week. Grumble mumble.


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BeaArthur
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26 Oct 2017, 11:13 am

Diarrhea.


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racheypie666
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26 Oct 2017, 12:42 pm

The forms I have to fill in for my 2nd job are overwhelming. I have to get DBS checks and immunisation checks and aargh, and another stack of papers arrived today. 8O Wah.

Also, I spent the most part of a 5 hour shift right next to two security alarms that kept going off. They are linked but have individual tones, and I couldn't move away from them, and they were out of sync with each other so double layers of sound.
That was bad, but what was fractionally worse were my thoughts.
If I can cope with that -
(Yes it was horrible and I've had to sit in a dark room for several hours since to recoup)
But if I can cope with that -
Am I even autistic? How do I know other people don't feel that pain as acutely as me, but just get on with it? How do I know it's OK for me to feel like this? Maybe I'm not ND at all, and I'm just an NT who can't stop being so f*****g weak.

Argh.
I know that's not true. I hate unhelpful thought patterns.