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Cornflake
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16 Feb 2021, 5:20 am

^ What a coincidence - I've just finished digging my 1:1 scale model of the Atlantic Ocean, so you can sink your model in that!


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DuckHairback
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16 Feb 2021, 5:36 am

Unfortunately I made it out of helium and it floated off.


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Cornflake
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16 Feb 2021, 8:44 am

Pencils can be used for abdominal surgery.


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PhosphorusDecree
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16 Feb 2021, 9:24 am

It is really easy to get technical support from my phone company.


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16 Feb 2021, 10:06 am

I hold the world record for the longest ever gasp.


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magz
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16 Feb 2021, 11:17 am

I'm currently excavating living dinosaur bones in my flower pot.


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Cornflake
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16 Feb 2021, 11:27 am

When surprised, cows scream like schoolgirls.


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magz
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16 Feb 2021, 11:51 am

Cows died off 252 million years ago, around Permian-Triassic boundary.


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Cornflake
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16 Feb 2021, 12:42 pm

Chopin invented the steam-powered food processor and raspberry fan.


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magz
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16 Feb 2021, 12:43 pm

Best laptops have edible motherboards.


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16 Feb 2021, 1:31 pm

The other side of the moon has a deep cleft in it. Neil Armstrong is quoted as saying it looked like a "...massive, flying bum."


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magz
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16 Feb 2021, 1:33 pm

The moon does not have the other side. It's shaped as a giant, circular Möbius strip.


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DuckHairback
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16 Feb 2021, 3:44 pm

When Buzz Aldrin was told that he jumped to Armstrong's defence saying, "Me and Neil, we seen a few bums in our time and this was like the biggest bum you ever saw. Dr Möbius, he ain't never been in no spaceship, gazing down on them beautiful big cheeks and just cryin' at the majesty of it all."


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magz
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16 Feb 2021, 3:57 pm

Comets are Moon's poo.


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Cornflake
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16 Feb 2021, 5:56 pm

Chewing coal is a good way to lose weight.


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magz
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17 Feb 2021, 9:06 am

Snow is made entirely of Iridium.
Unless it's Jan 15th. Then, snow is purely virtual.


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