The unpopular WP members club

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don't think about how popular you'd rather be or how popular somebody else is and how you might envy those guys with the greener grass over their septic tank. just think about useful things instead. think about things that make you happy or at least not sad. what you think about is what you are feeling. so if you don't want to feel bad, then instead of allowing yourself to think bad thoughts, determine to think better thoughts, with all your brainpower if necessary. it may take a while but eventually you will succeed in the task of sprucing up your mental hygiene. this i believe with all my heart.

deleted due to unsavory attitude exhibited.

i really respect that people are willing to speak up and express their feelings and experiences on the site. i believe the feelings of the people who feel left out are important to consider.

many people come to WP out of a desire to belong somewhere, and they have variable levels of success with that goal. unfortunately, success will sometimes lead to people accusing them of being less-autistic because they may be able to socialise better online or they may have a personality that draws people to them on here. interestingly, threads like this sometimes drive away the popular members because they no longer feel welcome either.

yet, this site is intended to be inclusive of ALL people who want to be here (s long as they follow the rules obviously), whether they are mute and low-functioning diagnosed auties or chatty and high-functioning undiagnosed aspies or socially awkward people with BPD (or _whatever_ ).

i understand nobody wants to feel unwelcome. lower-functioning people may feel unwelcome in the hyper-social environments that arise, and higher-functioning people might feel unwelcome when grumblings like the ones on this thread arise. neither set of people has more of a right to be here, so we try to maintain a balance on the site in order to include everyone. it is an uneasy mixture at times, but we all have important roles and contributions.

there is no perfect solution, and people's feelings will likely get hurt at times when they feel left out. but suggestions for improvement are welcome, and members and moderators do listen to concerns when they are raised.

Wow. I had no idea a thread like this existed. I thought I was alone on WP. One of the reasons I kind of left this place was due to my threads not getting replies (I don't make many threads). But the reason I don't think I get many responses is due to my struggles in language. I made a thread a while back about how I have trouble articulating my thoughts and ideas into words both verbally and literally. I think this is my main reason for being "unpopular". I come off like a robot or knitwit who's words come off broken and repetitious. I can't translate them as well as others.

As far as popularity is concerned, I've gotten to a point where I don't care. I now use this place as more of a support group where I can get some advice by people who can relate to some level. On other forums (non-aspie ones) I'm completely invisible and most of the people are way too extraverted and focused on each other. Compared to other forums I have to say this one is much more friendlier or for lack of a better word, welcoming than other boards I've been to. Perhaps we as members should pay a little more attention to those who's replies or questions get from very little to no replies. As someone who's awkward in the language department I see this in other members. Hopefully they won't feel alone.

Another invisible member checking in. Cool thread by the way. It's kind of nice to know I'm not the only one feeling invisible or ignored, even though it sucks that this is such a common issue here.

MissConstrue, I like your idea about paying more attention to those whose posts get no replies. I think it would be nice if more members tried to respond to other people's posts more, especially to posts that haven't gotten much attention from others. I'm going to start doing that more myself. I know the feeling of wondering whether anyone even read what I wrote or whether anyone found it useful, interesting or relatable in any way.

I like the idea of replying to people who get less replies. I want to do everything that I can to make everybody feel welcome.

Well, I'll probably get ignored here too,

But it's a darned good idea for a thread.

"Come in she said I'll give you, shelter from the storm."

Who can refuse such an offer.