Your quote of the day

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Seen on a tee-shirt at Burning Man:

Want Conflict?
Send Diplomats.

Want Victory?
Send Troops.

"I am hamstrung by a conciliatory nature. At times I wish I was forceful, rude and opinionated." Michael Palin

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Mark Twain

"I used to admire Graham Greene, especially End of The Affair, but now I'm afraid I find all that bargaining with God irritating. I still have a soft spot for Greene himself though, because he said he had recurring dreams about second-hand bookshops, and so do I." Jacqueline Wilson

A friend is someone who stabs you in the front

Mark Twain

I've always liked that one.


Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

"An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a body." -- Jim Hayes

"I got fed up of listening to b*ll*cks." Jeremy Paxman, when he left Newsnight.

“Anyone who is willing to work and is serious about it will certainly find a job. Only you must not go to the man who tells you this, for he has no job to offer and doesn't know anyone who knows of a vacancy. This is exactly the reason why he gives you such generous advice, out of brotherly love, and to demonstrate how little he knows the world.”
― B. Traven, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

"I subscribe to Doctor Who magazine, I've got a Tardis ringtone, a 5ft Dalek in my bedroom and when I got the call to read for the part I was watching episode three of The Sensorites." Frank Skinner

" Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper."

"Out of life comes death, and out of death, life. Out of the young, the old, and out of the old, the young." Heraclitus (c. 535 - c. 475 BCE).

People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.

Karl Pilkington

"They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!"

"You had me at 'Hello'."

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Isaac Asimov