What's on your mind right now?

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Compared to a lot of people in this world I live a life of luxury.

I mean I'll never be able to afford to not go to work but I do ok.

I'm lucky.


That probably sounds like a right load of old shite to some people. Hahaha....

Been on a week-long information bender regarding my change from vegetarian to vegan, now all I can think about is food.

The military seems like such a masculine job. Identity. Employer.

Even though some military occupational specialties do not sound too manly.

For example, Army Band, and Administration and Financial Management

And as a trans male I feel like I have to constantly "prove" my gender identity.

Of course not

Nothing I do could prove it

And I do not have to prove it

At least not any more than a cisgender man has to prove it



Anyways the suicide hotline volunteer job told me that it will get back to me Tuesday. Tomorrow

Kind of curious as to whether or not it will take me

Because I feel like I did as well as I could have done on the interview

But often my emotions are unjustified or misleading

And besides for all I know maybe they take everyone. Or maybe they only hire one out of a hundred

i dont like this feeling... the feeling that i cannot do a thing to help anyone in the aftermath of the storm...

I feel like s**t. The numbing buzz of alcohol has gone away and now I'm lying here in my bed at half three in the morning with the horrible taste of cigarettes in my mouth feeling pretty depressed looking back on my old self and how much I've changed over the last decade or so. In some ways for the good, in other ways I haven't changed at all and that seriously scares me sometimes. Considering calling the samaritains just to talk, but I suppose it's better I get my thoughts out here I suppose.

I feel ok during the day when I'm with family or when I'm buzzed in some way, but at times like this all I can do is try to fight off impending feelings of doom and occupy myself with true crime documentaries. Suppose I can listen to the sound of the rain outside to keep my mind from eating itself.

Just being excited for my Twilight Force hoodie and shirt...its a power metal band I really like, and the world must know...lol.

Today went to Best Buy for the first time.

4 toilets.

Looked clean

No blow dryer

Almost empty

Wifi

Nobody and nothing bothered me

It was awesome



____________________________________

As usual, feel exhausted and bored

Yeah I know.

I am boring

I am bored

Nothing to do

Taking community college courses is like one of the greatest solutions

Answer

Response

Sit inside a room

Convenient for public transportation

Almost like a movie

Except work required

The community college fall semester started about two week ago

Should've taken the class about suicide

Especially now that I went to a job interview for the role of suicide hotline recipient


Oh well whatever

Community college classes cost $$, justuch less than ucsd

What should I do with this chicken?

Why must the plastic hangers alway snap?

How brown do I need to get before asking for land rights?

The crocodile in the creek remains elusive.

on the planet of magic i would love to spend a day.

the curious five years old you, and the curious six years old me prepare our wings to fly and explore the place there.

no landing before we see all the "new" colors animals that we never seen before.


playing a lot with our new friends there until we get tired. then we eat their colorful cotton candy and sleep

with our new friends xD

^ BEAUTIFUL! i like that kind of thing.